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Page 3 Profile: Mick Squalor, singer

Hello, Wembley...

Er, well. “Gather round the urinal, ladies and gents”, more like. Singer Mick Squalor (no, really) is to showcase his vocal talents in an unusual location: the men’s toilet at The Steamboat Inn in Ipswich.

Sorry, what?

Stay with us, here. He was inspired to perform in the lavatory after singing to himself there and noticing its great acoustics. “I’m hoping it will add a surrealistic element to proceedings,” he said.

Any health and safety fears?

Quite! The gig, which promises several “support acts” beforehand, will take place on Friday. Squalor, of Manningtree, Essex, said that while he did have slight hygiene concerns, the dynamic move away from the “usual gig format” would certainly be worth it.

Standing room only, I presume...

Yes, about six people at a time will be allowed in to the show. Landlady Val Bint said that, at just 12ft by 5ft, the venue is a “typical old-fashioned gents’ toilet”, with tiled walls, a terracotta-tiled floor, three urinals and one cubicle. Other artists might be put off by the logistical challenges presented by the modest dimensions but Mr Squalor is unfazed. “Enough people spend time in here on a normal night, so we might as well glorify it with its own show,” he said.

But won’t that leave droves of fans disappointed?

Ah, fear not. A video camera and microphone will be installed in the loo, with the output beamed into the main pub. “We’ll stage-manage the toilets,” said Ms Bint, who described Mr Squalor’s talent as “mesmerising”. She added: “The boys and girls will have to share the girls’ toilet and we’ll take about half a dozen people at a time into the gents to watch the performance.” Probably wise, as he has sent invitations to 700 Facebook friends – and 25 had already accepted as i went to press last night.

Where to next?

While he does not currently plan to headline in any other toilets, he is keen to sniff out further unconventional venues. He: “I’d like to do some one-person audience shows at some point.”

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