'It's a cross between The Generation Game and It's a Knockout,' Kelly explained as his two assistants, Gerry and Keith, hoisted the 12 ft latex warriors on to their backs. Given that the rules consist simply of throwing one's opponent off a mat in a best-of-three game, this seemed an unfair slur on the two shows. Then again, Stuart Hall would have a field day commentating on the various positions Gerry (Kendo, blue) and Keith (Tojo, red) adopted in their battle for supremacy. Yelling 'Sumo, sumo,' MC Kelly ran between the two, beating each in turn with a bamboo stick before finally dropping his trousers.
At this point a woman from administration came over and suggested that they were in danger of ruining the grass. 'Fancy a game?' Kelly asked a passing maintenance worker. 'Nah]' came the reply, 'Can't afford to stand around playing silly buggers'.
Today, 12.30-2pm, Broadgate Circle, EC2, free