Dating advice: The Dating Game

How many times have you read an article on so-called 'top dating tips' or something about 'the key to a successful date', where the advice is all the same? Yeah yeah, we know, dress to impress, be yourself, don't talk about your ex and all that jazz. I'd like to think that the majority of us are clued up enough to have this general knowledge anyway. After all, dating isn't rocket science, is it? So I thought that, instead of giving you some dull olf dating tips, I'd put together a few simple steps for you to remember during and after that important date, to ensure that you enjoy it rather than stress about it. You can thank me later!

Breaking the ice

You may think that this is the scariest part of the date. How should you greet each other? Do you go in for a hug, a quick peck on the cheek, a polite hello and a smile, or a handshake (FYI, definitely not a handshake! What were you thinking?)? What will you say to each other? What should your opening line be?

Well fear not; in some ways the initial moment when you meet your date is the easiest part. Think about it: you haven't used up any of your conversation yet and you're still in the small talk stage of the date - and small talk is easy. You do it all the time, whether it’s with that cute girl from that coffee shop you frequent, or the hot guy from accounts with whom you share the lift every dail. You're already a pro at it, so this shouldn't be any different. Simple questions like "how long did it take you to get here?" and "isn't the weather horrible today?" may seem boring and mundane but you're really just going through the motions. This chit-chat is simply there to cover you while you secretly work out how to make that real first impression.

Be honest

While your date may seem cool, calm and collected, underneath that smouldering demeanour, they are probably just as nervous as you are. It's only natural to feel this way on a first date. After all, you're meeting with someone that you probably don't know very well, it's just the two of you, and you want to make a good impression. However, dates are supposed to be fun, so you'll want to be able to enjoy yourself without being a bag of nerves the whole time.

There's no need to go into detail. A quick statement like "I was a bit nervous on the way to meet you" will do, and it's amazing how simply saying those words will help you to feel more relaxed. Chances are your date will probably warm to you more after your honesty, and will see the more vulnerable side to you. So don't let the first-date nerves reduce you to a gibbering wreck and 'fess up to your date about the nerves.

Talk the talk

Talk too much and risk being self-obsessed and gobby or don't talk enough and risk that dreaded awkward silence? It's a tough predicament for a dater to be in, but the general rule is to strike a good balance between listening, talking, asking relevant questions and smiling and nodding in all the right places. The most important thing is that your conversation is natural, relaxed and has flow.

If you ask a question, listen to the answer, and don't just wait for your turn to speak. Don't cut in or interrupt when your date is talking and don't talk over the top of them. It all sounds fairly obvious, but on a first date when you are both trying to get your personalities across, there can sometimes be competition. Essentially, the main aim of a date is to determine whether or not you have a connection with the other person, and if there is one, the conversation will flow naturally anyway.

And that's it

So there you have it - three easy points to remember to make sure you keep your cool on your date. Now the only thing left to do is get one. Why not sign up to Independent Singles and put them to the test by securing yourself a date with one of our members?