e-mail > female

haven't seen him for 5 years but now lawrence has transformed from nerdy geek into angelchild of the family

From annahowe@richardsons. com

Did yr mum beleeve u about yr injury?

From clarissah@greatestates. co.uk

wd yr mum believe u?

From annahowe

no... but then she's been yr mother for 25 yrs so she's presumably got some practice.

From ClarissaH

well heaven preserve me from family parties. and to turn up with a massive black eye is not best idea. partic when perfect cousin is there as well. i knew it was going to go badly when jim invited jon

from annahowe

wot, flatmate jon?

From clarissah

yep. for last five yrs i've kept up facade that my family are normal members of the human race.

from annahowe

dont be silly, yr family's quite normal

from clarissaH

to yrs maybe. there turn up jim and jon - now best mates - in clubbing gear while i'm there in flowery dress...fantastic. jon asked if i was personally trying to save laura ashley. then of course no smoking for me altho jim and jon were allowed out in the garden while i stayed in talking to perfect cousin who is just about to become high-flying consultant.

From annahowe

i dont know any of yr cousins who sound like that...

From ClarissaH

haven't seen lawrence for 5 yrs. he has transformed from nerdy geek into angelchild of family. "blah blah, consultancy, diversifying, downsizing." he went on and on

"so what are u doing at the moment clarissa?" he asked in front of everyone. long pause

"I'm erm i'm doing some conultancy work myself," i said quickly.

mum came over at this moment. "lawrence," she trilled. "congratulations. i hear that you're doing really well. have u heard that, clarissa?"

From annahowe

don't - once a nerd always a nerd.

From clarissa h

"aunty kath is so proud of u," she went on. "clarissa maybe it's about time u settled down and found a job u really wanted to do instead of working at that estate agents."

"i'm an estate agent consultant," i muttered. "Oh," said lawrence. "for which one?"

"great estates," said my mother. lawrence looked even more shocked. ran away before he cd sneer some more.

From annahowe

why didn't u join jim and jon

From ClarissaH

becos i'm a good girl and mum still doesnt know i smoke. anyway went and kissed granny and filled up her glass of liebfraumilch

"Why have u got a black eye clarissa?" she said.

"i walked into a door granny," i said

From annahowe

yeah right.

From ClarissaH

oh so i'm going to say "i was beaten up by guildford kik boxing champion for telling about her affairs with the boss"?

From annahowe

sounds more glamorous

From ClarissaH

anyway didnt work. i heard aunty kath whisper "domestic violence?...drug dealers?" to uncle richard.

"such a shame about clarissa's face," said aunty kath loudly to mum. "it can be quite tough for a girl living in london by herself."

From annahowe

i hope u chinned her

From ClarissaH

no gets worse. "o no," said my mother. "it's that horrid girl clarissa works with, she beat her up becos clarissa mentioned she was having an affair with her boss."

stunned silence

"It's ok darling jim explained it all to me. that martina sounds like a real one if u ask me."

"martina?" said lawrence with a croaky voice. jon choked on a vol au vent and had to be led away.

From annahowe

serves him right

From ClarissaH

decided i cdn't stand it any longer "must go back home and lie down with my black eye," i said glumly "thankyou-for-the-nice-party-congratulations- granny,-nice-to-see-you-aunty-kath-uncle-richard-lawrence-deal-with-you- later-jim"

lawrence followed me to the front door.

"clarissa i'm sorry about your eye. i did some work at greatestates years ago and martina completely shafted me. and i think u are gorgeous. would you like to go out for a drink with me some time?"