Fashion: Bag, ladies?
When is a handbag not a handbag? When it's Mulberry's latest totem of super-luxe exclusivity, that's when. Dubbed the "happening elder sister" to the fashion house's Alexa It bag, the Tillie hit the shelves on Friday: a more masculine satchel design, available in black, chestnut, and powder- beige leather, it comes complete with trompe l'oeil buckles and – hurrah! – a conspicuous lack of pointless celebrity namesake. The only sticking point, naturally, is the £812 price tag: time to hawk that Alexa on eBay, perhaps?
Face to watch: Porcelain Raft
Fragile by name, fragile by nature, this Italian-born singer-songwriter, aka Mauro Remiddi, channels a love of reverb and little-boy-lost yearning into swoonsome bedroom-pop reveries. His EP "Gone Blind" is out next month.
Lexpionage: Gervaision, n.
The act of invading other countries'self-congratulatory celebrity elites armed with sarcastic quips. Often results in mass puncturing of egos and widespread sense-of-humour failure
Social networking: Match the tweet to the star
Peaches Geldof, Piers Morgan, Kanye West, Johnny Marr
1 Perfect Faces are definitely Boring.
2 Room service uuuuugh! I hate when I order fruit and I can taste the other food they cut with the same knife. Beef flavoured pineapples.
3 I find watching food fascinating.
4 Lieutenant Commander Uhura just came into my dressing-room. Beat that everyone.
(Answers at the bottom of the page)
App watch: Foreign talk
Google's latest update to word-translation application Google Translate takes us into the realm of Star Trek's universal translator with a "conversation mode", which allows you to speak an English phrase into your phone and have it repeated back in another language. Available for free from Android Marketplace
On the radar: because some things are still worth getting excited about...
Music: Beth Ditto
Just when she was beginning to look like a one-trick diva, the Gossip Riot-grrrl has only gone all Donna Summer on us: her debut solo EP proffers lubricious electro-disco in excelsis and is available from beatport.com
Theatre: Antonioni Project
From 1 to 5 February, Dutch troupe Toneelgroep Amsterdam will bring a cutting-edge conflation of three Antonioni films to London's Barbican: the most auspicious film-to-stage transfer since Legally Blonde, wethinks
Web: Star magazine
For proof that teen culture ain't what it was, see this 1970s mag for the aspiring groupie, now archived at star1973.com. Get the Sunset Strip hippie look! Bag your own Superfox! And are you truly satisfied with only one guy?
MATCH THE TWEET: 1. JOHNNY MARR; 2. KANYE WEST; 3. PEACHES GELDOF; 4. PIERS MORGAN.