Karlie Kloss: Just too kolossal for the katwalk

Forget supermodels, Karlie Kloss is in a new, even higher category: models so famous that they don't have to actually model, indeed so famous they can't model.

The 21-year-old American Victoria Secrets model claims to Vanity Fair that she is told she can't be in catwalk shows because she is too well-known.

"You are too famous," she says designers tell her. "No one will pay attention to the clothes… You are just too big."

Who's to blame the poor designers worrying that Karlie's global reach will scupper their new-season looks? After all, she has made something of a name for herself what with her range of biscuits (Karlie's Kookies, "a fashionably wholesome cookie line" which is available from New York's Momofuko Milkbar, or online at shopmilkbar.com), and spin-off products such as her "Dream Girl Pie".

Then there's the acting career, which, according to her website, consists of her having "ventured into TV when she appeared in season four, episode two of Gossip Girl as herself".

Perhaps Karlie isn't quite as massive as she thinks she is. But even though some of us aren't terribly familiar with her oeuvre, we have no doubt that said designers are entirely sincere and definitely not doing the fashion industry equivalent of saying "it's not you, it's me".

What's that you say, Christy?

In other model news, Christy Turlington is the latest to be recruited for Calvin Klein. To promote its "Iconic new bras" (which, yes, sounds like a contradiction in terms), Turlington appears in the standard CK advert and spouts nonsense.

"Clothes tell a story, sometimes it's true," she says. "Sometimes it's what you want people to think, but this says what I really feel. It's not a secret, just personal. You might be surprised… Just between you and me."

The adverts are either genius self-parody or (more likely) the sort of thing that stupid people think clever. But really it only serves to further the (untrue) notion that models are stupid.