From the colour that brought you grapes and aubergine

"Hey marketing guys, waking up in a Premier Inn, dragging your cabin-size suitcase down the stairs into the harshly-lit, wipe-clean beech wood lobby is an experience that gnaws at your soul, what can we do about it?"

"Make the rooms feel less like euthanasia clinics?"

"Too expensive."

"Give people purple sauce with their breakfast?"

*Manager throws pen in the air, signs blank cheque*

Yes, Purple Sauce will be hitting Premier Inns nationwide this week, "designed specifically for breakfast… to enhance the hotel chain's breakfast menu and prepare guests for the day ahead."

A challenge to ketchup and brown sauce (which you can read a fierce defence of here), the sauce's base is blackberry, with added cracked black pepper, crushed chilies, toasted cumin and smoked salt.

"We believe that a great day starts with a great night’s sleep, and our breakfasts set you up perfectly for whatever you have planned for the day ahead. Our new limited edition Purple Sauce will make our tasty cooked breakfasts even more delicious," Keith Hudspith, Head of Food & Beverage for Premier Inn, said with a straight face.

"The sauce is now available in all of our hotels and we really hope it will encourage even more people – whether they’re guests or not, to join us for breakfast to give the Purple Sauce a try."

If anyone finds themselves in a Premier Inn this week, please let me know how it tastes.