Forty reasons to Carry On drinking well into the New Year

Cries And Whispers

New Year's Eve is nearly here, which is as good a flimsy pretext as any to present the complete rules of a brand-new party game, guaranteed to make everyone else's festivities look rubbish.

It's called Carry On Drinking, and I have to ask, with all humility, which other Sunday newspaper would offer you such a treat?

You will need:

Your own Carry On cocktail. Ideally, it should be saucy and fruity, and should contain melons. Oh, and it should be cripplingly alcoholic.

A video of a Carry On film - or preferably several, so you can swap between them during the game.

Instructions: Printed below is a numbered list of more or less everything that happens in a Carry On film. Randomly distribute the numbers among your guests, so that everyone is assigned several Carry On incidents.

(If you're particularly popular, you may have to double up the numbers, so no one is left short.)

Put on the video(s). Every time one of the listed incidents occurs onscreen, the person(s) with the appropriate number must take a swig of the cocktail. You'll notice that, after about half an hour's play, the films start to seem really funny.

(Warning: a combination of Carry On Up The Jungle and number seven is potentially fatal.)

Enjoy!

You must take a drink any time that ...

1 Sid James gets his hands on a woman

2 A woman is angry with Sid James

3 A potential snog is interrupted

4 Hattie Jacques tries to seduce Kenneth Williams

5 Kenneth Williams says: "Stop messing about!"

6 Kenneth Williams says: "Ooh!"

7 Frankie Howerd says: "Ooh!"

8 Anyone says: "Phwooar!"

9 Anyone says: "Saucy!"

10 Anyone says the words "carry on"

11 Anyone says "matron"

12 Hattie Jacques scolds someone

13 Joan Sims scolds someone

14 Barbara Windsor giggles

15 Sid James cackles

16 Kenneth Williams guffaws toothily

17 Jim Dale rips off a woman's clothing

18 Jim Dale destroys property

19 Jim Dale falls over

20 a character is addressed by the actor's first name

And you must drink whenever you hear ...

21 a "boing" sound-effect

22 a honking sound-effect

23 a joke about trade unions

24 a toilet joke

25 a breast innuendo

26 a bottom innuendo

27 a penis innuendo

28 the euphemism "it"

29 a character's name which is a pun

You must take further drink any time you see ...

30 a man's underwear

31 a woman's underwear (two swigs if it belongs to Barbara Windsor)

32 a naked man

33 a naked woman

34 a visual joke featuring a phallic symbol

35 a speeded-up segment of film

And any time there is a scene in which ...

36 a future sitcom/light-entertainment star appears (not one of the main Carry On team)

37 a future soap/drama star appears (not one of the main Carry On team)

38 Bernard Bresslaw is dressed as an ethnic minority

39 a man gets dressed up as a woman

40 a woman gets dressed up as a man.

Coming soon (possibly) ... Shaken Not Stirred: the James Bond Drinking Game, and others. Publishers are invited to put their bids in now.

Suggested Topics
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Life and Style
ebookNow available in paperback
ebooks
ebookPart of The Independent’s new eBook series The Great Composers
  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs General

    Recruitment Genius: Sales Manager

    £35000 - £45000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is a unique opportunity to...

    Recruitment Genius: Trainee Manager - Production

    Negotiable: Recruitment Genius: Trainee Managers are required to join the UK's...

    Recruitment Genius: Telesales Manager

    £25000 - £35000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: You will maximise the effective...

    SThree: Trainee Recruitment Consultant

    £20000 - £25000 per annum + uncapped commission : SThree: Hello! I know most ...

    Day In a Page

    The saffron censorship that governs India: Why national pride and religious sentiment trump freedom of expression

    The saffron censorship that governs India

    Zareer Masani reveals why national pride and religious sentiment trump freedom of expression
    Prince Charles' 'black spider' letters to be published 'within weeks'

    Prince Charles' 'black spider' letters to be published 'within weeks'

    Supreme Court rules Dominic Grieve's ministerial veto was invalid
    Distressed Zayn Malik fans are cutting themselves - how did fandom get so dark?

    How did fandom get so dark?

    Grief over Zayn Malik's exit from One Direction seemed amusing until stories of mass 'cutting' emerged. Experts tell Gillian Orr the distress is real, and the girls need support
    The galaxy collisions that shed light on unseen parallel Universe

    The cosmic collisions that have shed light on unseen parallel Universe

    Dark matter study gives scientists insight into mystery of space
    The Swedes are adding a gender-neutral pronoun to their dictionary

    Swedes introduce gender-neutral pronoun

    Why, asks Simon Usborne, must English still struggle awkwardly with the likes of 's/he' and 'they'?
    Disney's mega money-making formula: 'Human' remakes of cartoon classics are part of a lucrative, long-term creative plan

    Disney's mega money-making formula

    'Human' remakes of cartoon classics are part of a lucrative, long-term creative plan
    Lobster has gone mainstream with supermarket bargains for £10 or less - but is it any good?

    Lobster has gone mainstream

    Anthea Gerrie, raised on meaty specimens from the waters around Maine, reveals how to cook up an affordable feast
    Easter 2015: 14 best decorations

    14 best Easter decorations

    Get into the Easter spirit with our pick of accessories, ornaments and tableware
    Paul Scholes column: Gareth Bale would be a perfect fit at Manchester United and could turn them into serious title contenders next season

    Paul Scholes column

    Gareth Bale would be a perfect fit at Manchester United and could turn them into serious title contenders next season
    Inside the Kansas greenhouses where Monsanto is 'playing God' with the future of the planet

    The future of GM

    The greenhouses where Monsanto 'plays God' with the future of the planet
    Britain's mild winters could be numbered: why global warming is leaving UK chillier

    Britain's mild winters could be numbered

    Gulf Stream is slowing down faster than ever, scientists say
    Government gives £250,000 to Independent appeal

    Government gives £250,000 to Independent appeal

    Donation brings total raised by Homeless Veterans campaign to at least £1.25m
    Oh dear, the most borrowed book at Bank of England library doesn't inspire confidence

    The most borrowed book at Bank of England library? Oh dear

    The book's fifth edition is used for Edexcel exams
    Cowslips vs honeysuckle: The hunt for the UK’s favourite wildflower

    Cowslips vs honeysuckle

    It's the hunt for UK’s favourite wildflower
    Child abuse scandal: Did a botched blackmail attempt by South African intelligence help Cyril Smith escape justice?

    Did a botched blackmail attempt help Cyril Smith escape justice?

    A fresh twist reveals the Liberal MP was targeted by the notorious South African intelligence agency Boss