How to survive a social-media mauling, by the tough women of Twitter

Mary Beard, Caroline Criado-Perez, Louise Mensch, Bunny La Roche and Courtney Barrasford reveal how to trounce the trolls

Fiona Sturges
Friday 24 April 2015 15:45 BST
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Mary Beard received abuse after speaking positively on 'Question Time' about immigrant workers: 'When people say ridiculous, untrue and hurtful things, then I think you should call them out'
Mary Beard received abuse after speaking positively on 'Question Time' about immigrant workers: 'When people say ridiculous, untrue and hurtful things, then I think you should call them out'

Social media has transformed the way we interact. It is, according to its advocates, a democratic platform where friendships can be forged, ideas exchanged and ordinary citizens can make their voices heard. For many of its users, however, it is a place where they are regularly harassed, intimidated and shamed.

Women, in particular, have found themselves targeted by Twitter trolls, and tell of threats involving stalking, sexual violence and death. Those in the public eye have proved particularly susceptible: Sara Payne, the mother of the murdered schoolgirl Sarah, the actress Lily James and, earlier this month, the comedian Sue Perkins are among those to have suffered such relentless abuse that they have suspended or closed their accounts.

But all is not lost. Increasing numbers of women are standing firm and challenging the trolls, Twitter has updated its features to help combat abuse, and last year two British people were jailed after sending violent threats.

Here, five women reveal how they survived their own Twitterstorms – and why they will not be shouted down.

The don

Mary Beard, 60

Twitter followers: 83.5K

In January 2013, the Cambridge classicist received abuse after speaking positively on 'Question Time' about immigrant workers living in Lincolnshire. In July of that year, she responded to a tweet from a troll calling her a 'filthy old slut' by retweeting his abuse to her followers, resulting in an apology. A month later, she was tweeted a bomb threat, hours after Twitter's UK head had apologised to women who had experienced abuse on the service

"When people say ridiculous, untrue and hurtful things, then I think you should call them out. If you went into a bar and a load of guys started saying, 'Look at that old slag. I bet her cunt smells like cabbage,' you would say, 'Look, guys, cut it out.' Same on Twitter!

"Social media is still developing its conventions and rules of engagement. We are never going to stop people being rude on Twitter or in real life, nor would we want to. Do we really want a world in which no one is ever rude? But we need to learn what amounts to rudeness on social media, when it goes beyond fair play, and what to do when it does.

"My advice to anyone dealing with abuse is to be brave, speak up, tweet up. Most people are on your side. If it all gets too much, don't feel a failure if sometimes you just turn the phone off. There are battles to be fought, but we don't have to fight all the battles all the time. Remember: it's not you that's mad!"

The ex-politician

Louise Mensch, 43

Twitter followers: 94.4K

Louise Mensch: 'It's not reasonable to think that Twitter can police [the trolls]. I'd rather they were concentrating on identifying Isis accounts' (Rex)

In May 2012, the then-Tory MP was subjected to a wave of misogynistic abuse after justifying a decision made by Conservative members of the Commons media committee report into phone hacking. They'd decided to vote against a Labour amendment that described Rupert Murdoch as 'not a fit person to run an international company'

"Trolling happens to every woman in politics. That's just how it is. I went to the police only once, when my children were threatened. The man was successfully prosecuted.

"The abuse was also above and beyond the normal level after the hacking enquiry, mainly from left-wingers saying things like, 'Wouldn't you like to hit her in the face with a hammer?' Interestingly, I've also been trolled by people who regard themselves as feminists.

"One of the better ways to handle it is through mockery – or just using the block button. People should also investigate the mute function. It means you can't see the messages from trolls but they don't know they've been switched off. I really like the image of a drunk, angry, fat guy shouting into an empty room.

"Of course there comes a point when further action is needed. There's this thing called 'doxing', when your personal details are put up for all to see – that's an actual threat and you need to go to the police. But I do think that police time is wasted if we go running to them every time someone says something awful.

"Also, if you have a lot of followers, you have to budget your time. How much time are you going to give to trolls and how much to conversations with interesting, rational people?

"It's not reasonable to think that Twitter can police [the trolls]. I'd rather they were concentrating on identifying Isis accounts.

"This isn't necessarily a popular view, but if you are the type to get upset by repeated abuse, you should think about whether Twitter is for you. If you are vulnerable and you are going to get emotionally hurt, then pick something else like a carefully curated Facebook feed.

"To me, Twitter is like a night in the pub. It can be a funny conversation, a heated debate or a drunken argument. It's good to remember that you have the ability to switch it off."

The activist

Bunny La Roche, 55

Twitter followers: 477

Bunny La Roche: 'They want to shut you up and I thought, 'Well, f**k you, I'm not going to shut up' (Estelle Rosenfeld)

In December 2014, La Roche co-ordinated a campaign to stop Nigel Farage from being elected MP for Thanet South

"The abuse started after an episode of Question Time I attended as part of the Stand Up to Ukip campaign, during which I called out Nigel Farage on his bigotry. The media called me 'the shouty blue-haired lady', which was quite funny. But soon the hate messages started to arrive and blogs sprang up on Ukip and far-right sites. Britain First published my address and telephone number – that's when I felt under siege.

"It was mostly comments about my appearance, things like: 'She needs to have acid thrown in her face.' It lasted a month to six weeks and then dropped down to three or four messages a week. I've only had one piece of hate mail this week, which is manageable.

"They want to shut you up and I thought, 'Well, f**k you, I'm not going to shut up.' If I'm a thorn in the side of Ukip and the far right, then what we're doing is working.

"I think women in particular have to take precautions when using social media. Check your privacy settings, be prepared to block people. We also have to remember that what happens on the internet is different to the real world. When I step out and meet people, including those who have extreme political views, they're generally OK."

The feminist

Caroline Criado-Perez, 30

Twitter followers: 31k

Criado-Perez: 'I've developed a thick skin; if you take it to heart, it would be impossible to survive' (Rex)

In July 2013, Criado-Perez successfully campaigned for a woman to appear on the new £10 banknote

"I had been running a campaign about the Bank of England's decision to have exclusively male faces on British banknotes, and how it was discriminatory. Eventually they agreed to put Jane Austen on the banknotes, so we won. It had been a big media story and at first I received lots of messages of support.

"Then I got my first rape threat. I tweeted that this had happened, then lots of other men thought, 'Good idea. Let's shut this bitch up.' The tweets were very graphic and arriving minute by minute. They were about what implements they would to use to cut me up and mutilate me, and which bit of their body would be inserted into which part of my body to cause pain and to silence me.

"I told the police; I was given a panic alarm and informed that they would increase patrols around my area. For a while it was scary to go out of the house.

"It went on for three weeks like that. My brother got married in that time; I remember checking my phone at the wedding and seeing that someone was claiming he had a sniper rifle trained on me. It was a ridiculous claim but there's a part of you that thinks, 'What if?'

"I suspended my Twitter account for a month. It wasn't just the threats, it was the thousands of people providing a running commentary on how I was handling it and telling me what I should do. It was exhausting and not at all helpful.

"People were eventually prosecuted, and for me, the most important thing when the first two came to court was the judge's statement. It was the first time an impartial observer had effectively said, 'No, this is not acceptable behaviour.' It was very validating.

"Now the threats are occasional. Mainly I get bog-standard abuse, and this is partly because I am a feminist whose name is now known, but also because I'm known for having been trolled. It's easy to think that trolls are all dysfunctional weirdos, but these are often people with jobs and families.

"We live in a world where people in public life are overwhelmingly male and where men are raised with the assumption that they are going to inherit the Earth. When this is challenged, they feel threatened. In some cases, it results in hugely narcissistic episodes.

"There's no reason why I should vacate the public sphere because men want me to. I think one of the most radical things a woman can do is not bow down to male pressure and violence and be silenced, but to continue highlighting injustice and maintaining a presence.

"There's also the fact that I can't do my job without a public platform. When you tell someone to stop using social media, it's like telling them to stop going in to work.

"Now, for the most part, I ignore Twitter abuse because it's just boring. Occasionally if I feel there's something interesting about it or funny, or something particularly revelatory about the comments, then I'll publicise it. If it's a threat, I report it to Twitter.

"I've developed a thick skin; if you take it to heart, it would be impossible to survive.

"I don't think the justice system is the answer to online abuse. It's just cutting off the heads of snakes. What we need is for men to stop wanting to silence women. There needs to be a serious cultural shift, especially related to the messages we are giving to young boys about what it means to be a man."

'Do it Like a Woman' by Caroline Criado-Perez is published by Portobello Books on 7 May

The pop fan

Courtney Barrasford, 17

Twitter followers: 1,094

In March 2013, schoolgirl Barrasford wrote a positive review of Justin Bieber's album 'Believe Acoustic' which the singer retweeted to his 34 million followers

"I was 15 when I made a comment about how Justin Bieber's album wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. To my surprise he retweeted it, which meant it could be seen by millions. A lot of people thought I'd said something bad about him, but I'd meant it as a compliment.

"All these horrible messages started appearing and I started to feel quite down. I was still at school and was sent home once or twice as I was having panic attacks.

"The messages lasted a few weeks. Now I get the odd comment but not many. There's even a fan account for me, which is a bit crazy.

"I haven't been put off using social media; I've grown up with it, so it's a part of life. You can't control the actions of other people and I think you have to recognise the good bits of it: just think about people like Stephen Sutton [the cancer patient who used social media to raise money for the Teenage Cancer Trust] and his charity work. What he did was brilliant. Recently there was a post about a missing person and within two days of it being shared, the person had been found. That probably wouldn't have happened without the power of Twitter."

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