Mother hits back at trolls who criticised her for bleaching her five-year-old daughter’s hair

‘Ultimately, I posted this video because it was such a special and fun bonding moment with my daughter’

A mother has responded to trolls who criticised her for bleaching her five-year-old daughter’s hair.

In a recent video posted to TikTok, Demi, @demilucymay_, documented her and her daughter Maude’s trip to the salon after her daughter had asked to “bleach her hair so she could put pink in it”. The clip then showed the five-year-old sitting in a chair as a hair stylist mixed bleach and applied foil to her hair.

“I couldn’t believe we were actually doing it,” Demi wrote in the text over the video. “She skipped school to come with me to my appointment. She was so excited and felt so big.”

Demi proceeded to film Maude’s experience at the salon, before describing how the child had gotten “so excited” when “she saw how blonde [her hair] was”. The clip ended with Maude’s father seeing his daughter’s transformation for the first time, with  Demi explaining that he “didn’t recognise” his daughter at first with her dyed hair.

In the caption, Demi also expressed her excitement over Maude’s hair, where she wrote: “Here’s your sign to say ‘yes’ more…pure joy!”

As of 30 September, the video has more than 9.6m views, with TikTok users in the comments praising Demi for letting her child get her hair highlighted.

“This is precious. She’ll remember this forever,” one person wrote, while another added: “Life is so short and this is so fun. This is for sure a core memory for her.”

However, some viewers criticised the mother, with many comments acknowledging the damage that bleach can cause to hair.

“Absolutely not. There are safe dyes to make it pink, bleaching it was a hard no,” one person wrote.

“My mom did this and it just started years of dying and damaging my hair,” another added.

In a follow-up video, Demi explained why she let her child bleach her hair and addressed some of the online criticism she received, while calling out those “mom-shaming her”.

“I’m honestly exhausted from commenting back to mom-shamers and trolls in the comments, that’s never okay,” she said. “You can disagree, that’s fine, but the minute that name calling starts or mom-shaming starts, based on one decision you disagree with, that’s where I’m going to put an end to that.”

She then provided additional details about her daughter’s hair journey, explaining that her child wanted a colour in her hair, so she had tried out a temporary pink shampoo. However, she said that, because Maude wanted the pink to show more in her hair, she had asked her mother to dye it blonde.

According to Demi, before going to the salon, she had spoken to Maude’s father, as she noted that bleaching the child’s hair had been considered a “controversial opinion”.

The mother then noted that her family pictures were coming up, which is why Maude’s blonde hair wasn’t pink yet. She also shut down any “conclusions” that viewers had made about wanting her daughter to “be blonde for family photos,” and said that she’d never make her child feel like she had to “change anything about herself”.

“That simply is not true,” Demi continued. “I would never put that on my daughter or make her feel like she needs to change anything about herself. That’s not the type of person I am. That’s not the type of mom that I am. And I would never impose my will onto my daughter. And I know how sensitive those topics are, as a woman.”

However, Demi also said that she understood why viewers would be concerned if she was forcing Maude to dye her hair, before noting that the claim was “simply an assumption”.

“I can understand where people are coming in feeling like if that were the reason that I was doing that why that would be wrong,” she continued. “But that is simply an assumption and that is not fair because that is not what happened.”

She concluded the clip by explaining that she’d posted the video at the salon to show a “fun bonding moment” with her daughter, before highlighting how “sad” it was to see people criticising the experience.

“Ultimately, I posted this video because it was such a special and fun bonding moment with my daughter,” she said. “And it’s sad that the internet has to turn that into a negative in any way.”

“There are so many kids that are neglected and so many damaged parent-child relationships,” she added. “So to turn something like this into a negative is really sad. And if you’re a mom out here mom-shaming, do better.”

However, some experts recommend parents wait until their children are older to bleach their hair. During an interview with Good Housekeeping, New York-based dermatological surgeon Sejal Shah, MD, explained that a child’s hair is still developing until they hit puberty, which is why she advises against bleaching until “at least 16”.

“I really don’t think it’s safe to dye or bleach a child’s hair until after puberty, and ideally not until their late teens — at least 16,” Dr Shah said.

The Independent has contacted Demi for comment.