Let me ask you this: 'What does it feel like to have schizophrenia?'

It depends. In my case, when I'm experiencing positive symptoms, I feel like I'm the main protagonist of a good novel, a novel you should read without any critical thinking.

For instance, once, I woke up during the night, I couldn't move, I was in the same position as Christ on the cross and I was convinced that I was talking with God. And I was experiencing a lot of sensations: warmth, cold, pleasure (a LOT; I've never lived such a thing again). I thought I was the first to discover the solution to the 'riddle' created by God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. And I was so pissed off because I was the fourth one to solve a riddle. The first one being God. The second one Jesus Christ. And the third one, women in general (the Holy Spirit).

Another time, I would just walk in a wood during the night totally amazed by the beauty of the lake, the trees or the sound of the wind. I would get rid of my shoes and put my feet in the mud. Then, seeing a rabbit, I would run after him, convinced I was in some kind of Alice in Wonderland. Then I would sit on a bench and a hedgehog would come toward me and I would touch it. Then I would go back home with my filthy shoes.

Another time, I left the house convinced that I was a spy for Google, so I threw away all my credit cards and I left with only my android phone, aiming for their headquarters in Paris. During my walk, I changed my mind when Google Maps showed me a map of the UK. My attention went to some city in Scotland and I remembered a PhD offer about optogenetics tools (I was recently awarded a Master of Engineering degree) I had seen on the web a few days earlier. So I walked, following the highway. Then a heavy rain began to fall. And I decided to moonwalk until I reached my goal. I've never moonwalked that good.

I have a few more of these anecdotes but most of them I would never share because they are too humiliating.

Now, the negative symptoms. A lot less funny. It's quite simple actually: I lose all motivation. Imagine having to take a shower and feeling as if you have to climb Mount Everest or learn by heart the Bible – this is what it feels like. I'm currently experiencing this phase. It's been months since the last time I wanted to see friends, to learn things, to find a job. My life is empty, I do nothing and I just hope that one day my brain will find its balance. I found the motivation to write this because I think society is very rude to people having psychiatric issues. We aren't all violent psychopaths. It's a small minority. I'm not lazy either, I have a disease. And no, unfortunately, drugs aren't the quick-fix everybody thinks they are.



These answers all come from quora.com, the popular online Q&A service. Ask any question and get real answers from people in the know


Life and Style
ebookNow available in paperback
ebookA delicious collection of 50 meaty main courses
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?

ES Rentals

    Independent Dating

    By clicking 'Search' you
    are agreeing to our
    Terms of Use.

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs General

    Recruitment Genius: Sales Executive - OTE £45,000

    £18000 - £45000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Sales Executive is required t...

    Recruitment Genius: Test Development Engineer

    £35000 - £40000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Are you inspired to bring new a...

    Recruitment Genius: Trainee Motor Engineer

    £14000 - £18000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an exciting opportunity...

    Recruitment Genius: Technical Administrator

    £15000 - £18000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This company are a world leadin...

    Day In a Page

    On your feet! Spending at least two hours a day standing reduces the risk of heart attacks, cancer and diabetes, according to new research

    On your feet!

    Spending half the day standing 'reduces risk of heart attacks and cancer'
    Liverpool close in on Milner signing

    Liverpool close in on Milner signing

    Reds baulk at Christian Benteke £32.5m release clause
    With scores of surgeries closing, what hope is there for the David Cameron's promise of 5,000 more GPs and a 24/7 NHS?

    The big NHS question

    Why are there so few new GPs when so many want to study medicine?
    Big knickers are back: Thongs ain't what they used to be

    Thongs ain't what they used to be

    Big knickers are back
    Thurston Moore interview

    Thurston Moore interview

    On living in London, Sonic Youth and musical memoirs
    In full bloom

    In full bloom

    Floral print womenswear
    From leading man to Elephant Man, Bradley Cooper is terrific

    From leading man to Elephant Man

    Bradley Cooper is terrific
    In this the person to restore our trust in the banks?

    In this the person to restore our trust in the banks?

    Dame Colette Bowe - interview
    When do the creative juices dry up?

    When do the creative juices dry up?

    David Lodge thinks he knows
    The 'Cher moment' happening across fashion just now

    Fashion's Cher moment

    Ageing beauty will always be more classy than all that booty
    Thousands of teenage girls enduring debilitating illnesses after routine school cancer vaccination

    Health fears over school cancer jab

    Shock new Freedom of Information figures show how thousands of girls have suffered serious symptoms after routine HPV injection
    Fifa President Sepp Blatter warns his opponents: 'I forgive everyone, but I don't forget'

    'I forgive everyone, but I don't forget'

    Fifa president Sepp Blatter issues defiant warning to opponents
    Extreme summer temperatures will soon cause deaths of up to 1,700 more Britons a year, says government report

    Weather warning

    Extreme summer temperatures will soon cause deaths of up to 1,700 more Britons a year, says government report
    LSD: Speaking to volunteer users of the drug as trials get underway to see if it cures depression and addiction

    High hopes for LSD

    Meet the volunteer users helping to see if it cures depression and addiction
    German soldier who died fighting for UK in Battle of Waterloo should be removed from museum display and given dignified funeral, say historians

    Saving Private Brandt

    A Belgian museum's display of the skeleton of a soldier killed at Waterloo prompts calls for him to be given a dignified funeral