Virginia Ironside's Dilemmas

I was recently bicycling along past a neighbour's house when his dog came out and bit me. It wasn't just a nip. Eventually, as it became infected, I had to get hospital treatment. I feel angry because the dog's owner, an elderly man who's lived there for years, didn't seem to appreciate the severity of the attack, and rather brushed it off. I didn't go to the police because I didn't want the dog put down, but I still feel resentful. Was there anything I could have done – or should do now – to make this man feel more responsible? Yours sincerely, Ed

Virginia says... Forgive me, Ed, but I really don't think you're the one to complain about people not being responsible here. It's understandable that this poor old guy might not want to feel responsible. He's probably deeply attached to this vicious animal and therefore wants to brush its evil behaviour under the carpet, and make as light as possible of any stray nips he gives passers-by.

You, however, have no such attachment to the beast, so isn't up to you to be the responsible one and report it to the police, or a dog warden at least? There's no reason to think it will automatically be put down. They might just come round and give the man a good talking to and insist that it's not let out of the house except on a lead. I have no idea of how dog laws work, but unless an animal makes a really vicious attack, I think it highly unlikely it would be instantly put down, particularly if you begged that the animal were to be shown mercy.

But where you are irresponsible is in thinking only of yourself. Who knows, this animal may have a long string of offences to its name. Perhaps it has already attacked small defenceless children, and given them phobias about dogs for life. Or perhaps this was the first attack, and because you're remaining silent, it will maul some defenceless infant in future. Perhaps it's not the dog's fault – it may have some crazy-making brain tumour that needs attention.

I would report this attack to the police and see whether the dog has form. If you don't want to go further than that, I'd visit the man yourself and throw the words "lawyer" and "police" into the conversation. Explain that although you don't particularly want to sue him at the moment, you need reassurance that this matter has been taken seriously and that measures are being taken to prevent it happening again. I don't think it would be a bad idea to pop in on any neighbours he has and ask whether they've had any bad experiences, just so you can get the bigger picture. You might discover that they've been complaining for years or they might say that the dog is normally the sweetest and most affectionate creature in the world, loved by one and all.

Dog bites can be serious. They can make you lame and, if untreated, could even cause death. Don't let pity for what appears to be a lonely old man overshadow the real issue here: preventing it happening again to someone else.

Readers say...

Don't be squeamish

When it happened to me some 15 years ago I was advised by a lawyer friend to keep a daily diary, listing things I usually did that either I couldn't do or were more difficult. If I couldn't drive my car, the cost of a taxi might be a reasonable charge on his insurance.

Inform your borough council's dog warden, if it has one. You may not be the first person to be attacked by this dog. I turned out to be the fourth.

Don't be squeamish about what happens to the dog. The fact that he probably relies on his animal companion doesn't entitle him to endanger the public.

Martin Kyrle By email

Put it in writing

You should not let the matter rest. My feeling is that you should write to him in extremely firm terms, telling him that he owns an unreliable, if not a downright dangerous, dog, and that at the time you were tempted to report the incident to the police – something you may still do if he does not reassure you that the dog will be kept under his control

Dr Michael B Johnson

Brighton

Next week's dilemma

Dear Virginia, My husband and I have a joint email account, and the other day I was checking to see if I'd sent an email when I came across an email my husband had written to a friend. It read: "Thank you for listening to all my woes. This has, as you can imagine, been the most terrible worry for me, and you are the only person I can confide in." I have no idea what he was talking about – my husband doesn't have any worries that I know of. Do you think I should tackle him about it and find out what the problem is? Yours sincerely, Elisa

What would you advise Elisa to do? Email your dilemmas and comments to dilemmas @independent. co.uk, or go to independent.co.uk/dilemmas. Anyone whose advice is quoted will receive a £25 voucher from the wine website Fine Wine Sellers (finewinesellers.co.uk)