Gwyneth Paltrow is known for her down-to-earth, not at all bizarre advice to help us all live happier, healthier lives.
There was the time she suggested we all steam our vaginas (“It is an energetic release,” she maintained), and when she created recipes calling for ingredients such as “Sex Dust” to name but two.
However the latest nugget of wisdom from Paltrow is that we should in fact all be putting eggs up our vaginas.
If the reason for doing so isn’t immediately obvious - you mean you haven't ever thought about popping an egg into your genitalia? - Paltrow explains the point of the eggs in her website Goop’s latest newsletter (although apparently it makes “intuitive sense”):
“The strictly guarded secret of Chinese royalty in antiquity - queens and concubines used them to stay in shape for emperors - jade eggs harness the power of energy work, crystal healing and a Kegel-like physical practice.
“Fans say regular use increases chi, orgasms, vaginal muscle tone, hormonal balance, and feminine energy in general.”
So there you go.
The newsletter interviews Irananian-American actress and blogger Shiva Rose, who has been “practicing” with the eggs for seven years and raves about the results. “We tried them, too, and were so convinced we put them into the Goop shop.”
According to Goop, popping the jade egg into your vajayjay will help get rid of negative energy. Right.
And then there’s the rose quartz egg, which is apparently a step-up from the jade one and ideal for those of us who “want to take [our] practice a step further.”
“Sadly most people use [their womb] as a psychic trash bin, storing old or negative energy,” says Rose. “I see it as a place to celebrate ourselves as sexual, powerful beings, or as mothers, not a place to carry negative or un-dealt-with emotions.”
Some women allegedly sleep with their egg in, but for others the power from keeping it in that long is too strong.
The eggs can make you more attractive too: “I sometimes feel people are more attracted to you when you’re carrying a jade egg,” Rose Says.
She admits it took a month of using the eggs before she saw any results, but is clearly now their biggest advocate: “I miss it if I don’t do it,” she says.
And don’t worry if you think you might be too young or old to stick an egg up your ladyparts: “Once sexually active, women of any age respond to the egg - who doesn’t want their muscles more toned, their libido and lubrication increased, and their hormones balanced?”
You’re probably desperate to get your hands on an egg by now, but perhaps you have just one niggle: what if your egg gets stuck up your foo-foo?
Panic not, Rose has thought of this: “It can’t get lost, but these ones have a hole drilled in them, which you can then thread with unwaxed floss, to make it easier to take out, and to generally ease any anxiety about it” she says.
Gwyneth Paltrow in quotes
Gwyneth Paltrow in quotes
1/7 On healthy eating
'I'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can'
Theo Wargo/Getty Images for NBC
2/7 On hitting 40
‘You can still find yourself at a party at 3am, but you also know enough about who you are and how that informs the choices you make.”
Steven Henry/Getty Images
3/7 On maintaining a close relationship with ex husband Chris Martin:
‘We’re still very much a family, even though we don’t have a romantic relationship. He’s like my brother.’
Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images)
4/7 On her travel routine:
“When I land [from a flight] I try to find a sauna to sit in for 20 minutes to help me sweat out all the germs from the plane”.
5/7 On the Hollywood Gender Pay Gap:
“Your salary is a way to quantify what you’re worth. If men are paid a lot more for doing the same thing, it feels shitty.”
6/7 On not caring what people think:
“I don’t hold on to fear as much as I used to, because I’ve learned a lot about genuinely not caring what strangers think about me. It’s very liberating, It’s very empowering.”
7/7 On the Met Gala (2013):
“I’m never going again. It was so un-fun. It was boiling. It was too crowded. I did not enjoy it at all.”
You must treat your egg as sacred though - Rose suggests keeping it in a silk bag and performing a ritual before inserting it: “I place it on a beautiful piece of fabric, light a candle, maybe even burn some sage. For my ritual, I imagine pure light flowing between me and the egg.”
So now you know what to do.
The eggs are 1.2 inches wide and 1.7 inches high but aren’t cheap: the jade costs an astounding £54 and the rose quartz is a not much more affordable £45 - despite that, they’re currently sold out.
Whether Gwyneth herself actually uses the eggs is yet to be revealed, but clearly a lot of women are keen to try.