If I Win The Lottery Tonight...

Dickie Bird Umpire

I DO play the lottery, but not every week as I am not always at home. I never bother getting a ticket when I'm away. I don't have any lucky numbers as I'm not superstitious. I go into the shop in the village and say "I'll have the lucky dip". But I've won nothing with that. I've never been anywhere near, even though I try all these different numbers.

If I were to win, I'd give quite a bit away to charity and invest a lot of it. I don't think I'd leave Barnsley. It's where I was born and bred. I'd like to make a lot of improvements to my 17th century cottage, a beautiful place which is full of history. John Wesley, the Methodist lay preacher, once stayed in the room that is now my bedroom. I'd be tempted to widen the rooms in the cottage, but it is listed so I probably wouldn't be allowed to.

I need somewhere to put all the memorabilia I've collected over the years, from being a player through to being an umpire. Everything is around on display at the moment, but all over the floor and all over the place. So I'd build The Dickie Bird Museum either in Barnsley, or, if they gave me permission, at Lords. Lords has been my second home - I have so many happy memories of great occasions there that I've been a part of.

I've been all over the world with my cricket. I'd go on a long holiday visiting all the places where I'd been umpiring, meeting all the friends I've made throughout my career.

I'd look after my sister, number one. She's been a treasure to me although she's married - she does all my washing, all my whites, cleans my cottage. I don't know what I'd do without her. I think she'd probably like a six- month holiday in the Caribbean.

I've retired from international umpiring, and am now heavily involved in writing. My Autobiography sold 360,000 copies hardback. It's the best- selling sports autobiography ever. My publishers have asked me to write another book looking back on all the characters I've met in county cricket. If I won the lottery I'd still do this to occupy my mind. If I just sat in a chair, I'd start wittering and worrying and what have you. I wouldn't last long.

`My Autobiography' by Dickie Bird is published by Coronet at pounds 6.99. He was interviewed by Diona Gregory