In Bed with Susan de Muth: A pussy should always look fabulous with a hangover: Josephine White

BEING a pussy is a full-time occupation. It's not just a matter of performing in night-clubs two or three times a week - it's a lifestyle. The bedroom and bed are central. I spend as much time as I can there when I'm not out clubbing or partying. I have a huge Twenties bed with a green satin back and it's covered in heart-shaped cushions. I entertain all my friends there. Business deals are struck over my satin sheets.

At the moment, my favourite outfit for clubs and parties is a Thirties see-through nightie with nothing underneath. I wear high-heeled fluffy gold slippers with it. They are very comfortable but they do wear out horribly quickly.

I'm afraid that I often get terribly drunk, which means waking up with a hangover. Men must be trained from day one to bring breakfast in bed and, if you have a hangover, this should be accompanied by pink champagne. While he's in the kitchen I fix my hair and face and brush my teeth before returning to bed, where I adopt a glamorous position. The curtains can then be opened. A pussy should always look fabulous with a hangover.

I never drink when I'm performing. I don't need Dutch courage to get up on stage. Bed and stage are where I'm most at home and there's quite a lot of overlap. I saddle men up on stage, for example, and ride them round a bit. We always mingle with the crowd after our act and most men seem to love us, though I've noticed that some of them do get a bit nervous.

We are occasionally misunderstood. We were performing at a May ball in Cambridge last year and when I got my whip out they suddenly pulled the plugs on us and told us to leave immediately - by the back way] In the provinces we get girls at universities complaining about us: they think they're right on and we're right off.

But, actually, I think our post-feminist philosophy is very politically correct. We're camp and we fool around together so we've become a lesbian icon in London and I think that's great. I love women. Women don't have to be aggressive and radical and dress like men any more. That was necessary 20 years ago but now we're free to be feminine again without losing our power. Being glamorous is good fun - why have we handed that over to transvestites? Women can use their looks and personality to dominate men and have a really good time.

I'd prefer, ultimately, to be monogamous. But you have to sleep with a hell of a lot of people to find the right one. I used to pick men up in clubs. I'd always insist on a chat and, if I liked them, safe sex. That's liberation. I've done my share of crawling into bed feeling so lonely . . . but the worst thing is inviting someone home to bed and then realising, when you get there, that you don't want them after all and having to chuck them out.

I met my boyfriend, James, because he saw a picture of me and my pussies above a girl's desk where he works. He got my number, phoned me up and invited me over to his office. We've been together ever since. You can be sexy and enjoy all your fantasies with just one person. It could get boring so you have to constantly re-invent yourself in the bedroom. Try different roles, games, wigs, costumes . . . oh dear, I don't really want my mother to read about what I get up to in bed.

I don't think the idea of an ageing pussy is ridiculous. Beauty and allure are not only physical - it's a lot to do with personality. I mean, I'm 30, which is old to some people, but I've had lovers of every age from 20 to 40. Age is irrelevant - self-esteem is what counts. I'm going to carry on enjoying my looks and inviting people into my bed just as long as I feel like it.

'Pussy', aka Josephine White, is lead singer of the all-girl sex cabaret trio Pussies Galore. Their first single, 'Riding the Bullet', is released in September.

(Photograph omitted)

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