I’m a jellyfish parent – my run-in with a tiger mum was terrifying

As the school term begins, Charlotte Cripps feels the heat after finding out her daughter’s classmate has been learning Mandarin and took a bilingual swimming coach on holiday

I take a more laid-back, relaxed and flexible approach – meaning the total opposite of tiger mums (iStock)

Most parents breathe a sigh of relief when the summer holidays are over – but not me. I’ll miss my kids roaming around like free-range chickens, their schedules clear and their activities reserved to climbing a few trees. See, I’m more of a “jellyfish parent” than a “tiger mum”. I take a more laidback, relaxed and flexible approach to my children, instead of being strict, pushy, insistent on extracurricular activities or eager to drive my kids to attain high levels of academic achievement.

Admittedly, it can sometimes feel like “broken-down-car parenting”, but I get through it. Parenting today can become an exhausting drive for perfection, and I’m glad I’ve let go of it. My children – aged five and seven – seem happy and balanced, which to me is the main thing. But as I stand at the school gates waving them off into their new classes, my heart sinks.

Another mum tells me that her five-year-old spent the summer learning Mandarin and coding, and is speeding through the Harry Potter books. I can’t believe it. This mum also recruited a “nanny plus” – otherwise known in tiger mum circles as an “academic nanny”. It’s £30 to £40 per hour, rather than the bog standard £12 to £15 hourly rate for normal childcare – and, she insists, “made all the difference”. She’s hired other specialists, too, such as a Chinese tutor. She even took a bilingual swimming coach on holiday with her family, who doubles up as a French tutor. So if her child is entering year one with the mindset of an Oxbridge student, where does this leave me and my kid’s development? This pushy parenting approach is totally normal to her – and for many other parents whose quest it is to make their child the best.