Kourtney Kardashian reveals how she played a ‘character’ at the end of ‘Keeping Up With the Kardashians’

‘It became a really toxic environment at the end for me’

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Kourtney Kardashian has opened up about her time on Keeping Up With the Kardashians (KUWTK), and how she had to play a certain “character” during its final seasons.

Kourtney Kardashian, 42, was the oldest sibling of the Kardashian-Jenner clan in the reality show, which aired in 2007 and ran until June of last year. However, speaking to Bustle on 3 March, Kardashian detailed how she really struggled with being on KUWTK, as it became a “toxic environment” where she felt like she being “a character.”

“Shooting our show, it became a really toxic environment at the end for me,” she said. “I would fight with my sisters. There was, like, just a lot going on. And even for me personally, I wasn’t in the happiest place.”

“I felt like I was being almost a character,” she added. “‘This is Kourtney, and she’s in a bad mood, so even though she was laughing really at lunch, we’re going to cut out the laughing and let’s only use the annoying comment that she said.’”

Kardashian noted that since the show offered her many opportunities, she often gave herself words of encouragement before she started filming.

“I would give myself a pep talk before walking in,” she explained. “Like, say we were shooting at Khloé’s house. I’d be like, ‘It’s going to be a good day. Let’s have a good mood. Let’s put a smile on our face.”

Regardless of the challenges she faced, Kardashian still acknowledged how she sees a lot of “growth” that “makes it all worth it.”

“I see the growth that comes from those unhappy places which make it all worth it,” she said. “I’m like, ‘If we didn’t go through these roller coasters, you wouldn’t get to the good part.”

However, once the show ended, Kardashian noted that having a “break” from her sisters shifted her “mindset” about them.

“When you’re doing that [show] every single day, you don’t have the space to take a break and be like, ‘Wait, we actually love each other.’”

Kardashian and her family have since returned to the reality TV business, as their new show, The Kardashians, which will also follow Kris Jenner, Kim Kardashian, Khloé Kardashian, Kendall Jenner, and Kylie Jenner, is set to release this April. But when the trailer first dropped, fans were convinced that Kardashian wasn’t to be a part of the program.

“It’s so funny, because there was a little tease for our new show,” she said. “And I saw people in the comments like, ‘Kourtney is already over the show. She looks miserable.’”

She said that when the teaser was filmed, she was “super sick.” But, her mindset towards the new show is “a restart,” as it’s her “choice” to be a part of it. She still thought it was “funny” that anyone thought she was actually miserable.

“Workwise, I’m happier than I’ve ever been,” she concluded.

Kardashian’s fiancé, Travis Barker, will also be in The Kardashians. Prior to this engagement, Kardashian was previously married to Scott Disick, and they share three children: Mason, 12, Penelope, nine, and Reign, seven.

When it came to her relationships in the past, Kardashian told Bustle that she’s been “really indecisive.”

“I felt like I had to poll a lot of people to help me decide things,” she said. “I think it was in a time when I maybe felt more insecure or not in the greatest relationships. I was used to always being a bitch and having no feelings.”