First stop, Underworld, with The High Fidelity and lesson number one - a drink at every port. Fidelity are being true to the white noise of rock 'n' roll. It is a shame that the audience aren't, intent rather on staring at their band line-up map.
The no-entry barricades are ironic at this early stage in the evening, but at least the band are near enough for audience interaction. "Two-minute silence, this is the three-minute noise," says the lead singer perceptively. They perform with all the po-going style of the Sex Pistols, parentally unacceptable noise levels and Nineties lyrics about hanging around doing nothing.
Steam up to the lock and Dingwalls for Warm Jets. The streets are oddly silent but the audience inside the venues have started to get with it and are mooching forward. Sadly one man is still doing all the dancing for the rest. The Warm Jet's Jam-like set finishes with a request for "beer". Time for a drink.
Hardknox cancelled - but sitting down by 9.30 isn't an option. So it's a crawl up to the Forum for Ultrasound. They stay true to the name. From the first stop at Underworld club, to Dingwalls band pub venue to the Forum's old style music hall - we are progressing. Ultrasound have the main ingredients of a concert: big acoustics, great performers and most important, they are good. Tipped for success, Ultrasound are a blend of angry Radiohead coupled with a melodic soundscape. At last a round of applause.
Suddenly a surge to the front for The Lo Fidelity All Stars. Justified. These guys think they are rock stars, and are indeed a frightening combination of the Happy Mondays and Oasis.
Their sound is an arrogant blend of rap, hip-hop scratching and dance- music sampling. It would be nice to be able to say exactly what it is, but it is difficult to explain Close Encounters meets MTV channel flicking. One thing's for sure - these guys will be famous.
Must crawl to the special guests - Echo and the Bunnymen playing at the Electric Ballroom. The actual rock stars, with lack of vision for heads in front of you and the rare sight of Ian McCulloch as proof. Looking around, maybe you have to be of a certain age to appreciate Echo.
As the evening draws to a close, the energetic young trendies are at the Underworld sampling the tunes from DJs Midfield General and Cut La Roc.
Five bands, four venues, more alcohol in fewer hours. Suddenly don't feel very young. Crawling ... it's time to leave.