I'm very highly sexed so this seemed a natural thing to do. I really wanted to see someone's interpretation of what I was doing - what image they'd manage to make out of it. I love being watched; to know there was someone there looking and taking photographs was a double turn-on. I found the physical side very intense; I took my time and really enjoyed it. I'd feel flattered if people enjoyed looking at the results - I think it would turn me on.
Posing for these pictures has turned out to be an amazing experience. I've had a lot of boyfriend problems and haven't had a relationship for the past two years - partly because it can become a part of your life you neglect. So this was a big release of emotions for me. It was very relaxing, absorbing and completely for myself. Feeling sexy is a bit like ice-cream - you forget what it tastes like after a while. To cut a long story short, it's the best orgasm I've ever had - and it didn't involve a bloke.
I had long conversations with the photographer before I took part - I wanted to know why he was keen to do the project. But I immediately felt at ease with him - there was no sense there was anything strange about him or that he was trying to manipulate the event. I was interested in putting myself into a situation that I wouldn't normally be in. At first I was very aware the camera was on me but then I completely forgot about it. I just went into my own little fantasy world.
I felt embarrassed at first but afterwards I gained a lot of confidence from doing it; I felt the point of the exercise was to show you don't need a man to do certain things. All in all, I just saw the whole thing as a very creative exercise.
My condition for taking part was that I could bring a man along - in 50 years time, maybe I'll masturbate alone but while I'm young I'd prefer to do it with a man. I didn't notice the photographer because I disappeared into a cloud. I've got a liberal attitude to this kind of thing. I'm Dutch and it's a more relaxed culture - I grew up feeling comfortable with nudity. It's not a problem for me that people will see these images in a gallery - I'd just like to see the person who buys it. I believe in high visibility; I've got a massive ego and I want to be out there as much as possible.
"Time After Time" (sponsored by The Fabulous Bakin' Boys) is at the Dazed & Confused Gallery, Old Street, London E1V 9BD.Reuse content