Harassed sales assistants, sore feet, tempers fraying. Your Christmas shopping scenario? Not necessarily. Promoters of easy-listening Club Montepulciano have created a one-day-only `Kitschmas Shopophonic Extravaganza' to offer a naff alternative to Crimbo present-buying hell

The idea behind Club Montepulciano's "Hey Big Spender!" is to make kitschmas (sorry, can't help it) shopping a fun experience. Cue the opening music for Hart to Hart, shake-up the exotic cocktails, get your dancing shoes on and, well, shop.

Heilco van der Ploeg, a name he assures me he didn't make up, is the brain behind it. He wanted to gather the best kitsch shops in London into one place to sell their wares, and hold his club at the same time. His philosophy is "if it's so bad it's good, it goes in". There's also his new range of "Bunny M" fluffy velour pants (see cover) - catchphrase "Soft `n' snug as a bunny's bum" - which come in a unisex hot-pants shape and various colours, for pounds 9.99

Greenwich-based shop Flying Duck Enterprises, home of all things fabulously cheesy but cool, will be there selling original LED watches, fluffy dice, flying ducks, lava lamps, copies of Tretchikoff's The Green Lady and a selection of the items shown here. Kitsch clothing emporium Radio Days will be peddling their Fifties cocktail dresses, boudoir high heels, and ridiculously silly, but fab, handbags.

It could be the answer to your naffest Xmas prayers.

Hey Big Spender! Today, 4pm to 2am, Connaughts Bar/Brasserie, Gt Queen Street, Covent Garden WC2. Admission pounds 2 to 10pm, then pounds 5

Above: `Go Go Girl' Sixties cocktail mixer, pounds 150. She's 12 inches tall and swings her hips to mix your Martini

Panel, from top:

Furry purse on a string, pounds 10.

On the fake hands, perspex, glitter and flower rings, based on original designs from the Seventies, pounds 3; Sixties stretchy beaded bracelet, pounds 5; Sixties metal bangle, pounds 5

Fifties beach bag with picnic set, about pounds 25

Multicoloured beaded curtain, pounds 25. Plain green and plain lilac also available