MALCOLM HARDEE, comedian: Beefeaters. Tragic waste of time, they are, only good for sticking on the front of bottles of gin. We ought to have vegetarian versions and call them Potato-eaters or something. We should abolish fish and chip shops too, becauseyou really can't get good fish and chips any more. We should get rid of them, start again and make them like they used to be.

DR JACQUELINE SIMPSON, president, Folklore Society: Private companies that used to be nationalised and which have kept "British" in their title. I think that it's an absolute imposition.

BERNIE GRANT, Labour MP: All immigration detention centres because they are incarcerating, for the most part, people who have suffered some of the worst imaginable oppression. It amounts to double punishment.

MIRANDA SMITH, housewife: Is Mr Blobby a British institution? He probably is by now. He will have to go. He's sad beyond belief, a disgrace to the nation. Abolish please.

MAJOR (retd) TONY ASTLE, secretary, Cheshire Regiment Association: I'd abolish marriage, from the Queen right down to the man in the street. It' s far too expensive when people break up and find themselves in difficulties.

ELISABETH BROOKE, white witch: The class system. I'd start with the Queen and work down. It's one of the main reasons why this country is in such a mess. You've got the sycophantic working class on one hand and on the other you've got all these people who have had too much power for too long.

SARAH FITCH, shop manageress: There should be a ceiling on how much you can inherit, and the rest should go to the state. People should gain by merit, not inheritance.

REV JOHN HUDGHTON, vicar and deanery youth chaplain: The very British first-past-the-post electoral system and hereditary peerages. The first-past-the-post system creates Governments with vastly more seats than they would merit if their poll percentage was the measure. Hereditary peers should be seated in feudal history.

KAREN McCARTHY, student: Getting rid of the five-day week would mean a reduction in unemployment and increased worker happiness. It would also probably get rid of a lot of traffic congestion and pollution. Instead we could stagger the days which people work, say Tuesday to Saturday.

AMBER, aged 9: My school.

If it was abolished then I wouldn't have to go to it. My mum wants to abolish school holidays.