WHY AREN'T THEY FAMOUS? NO 8: PAUL GALLAGHER

Main Claim: Famous for not being famous. Paul Gallagher is brother of the more famous Liam and Noel. Thus we are a little bit interested in him. Paul, 30, is the oldest Gallagher, the one who's not in Britpop wonder band Oasis. But Paul shouldn't be compared with Sylvester Stallone's brother or Naomi Campbell's mother. Paul does not appear to harbour angry ambitions to secure a recording contract. No, Paul has contented himself with writing a book about his more famous brothers. See below.

Appearance: A Gallagher. A fat version of a Gallagher. Paul sports the monolithic eyebrows and the missing-link demeanour of the successful Gallaghers, but on a somewhat larger canvas. While Liam is fast developing a puffy Oliver Reed-style face, Paul is already several kilos ahead.

Brought to Book: Brothers: From Childhood to Oasis, The Real Story (Virgin, pounds 14.99 published 26 September) is the reason for Paul's unusual appearance in the press this week. Paul co-authored the book with former The Word irritant Terry Christian. One would have thought Mr Christian might have something better to do. "We never had a leather jacket, why did he have to get one?" comments Paul on the sartorial double standards operating in the Gallagher household. Liam was bought the offending item at the age of six. The book is full of illuminating anecdotes.

Musical Differences: According to Paul, Liam's difference from himself can be summed up thus: "A big mouth. And them doughy blue eyes everyone keeps going about. To me, they're just eyes, know what I mean? Mine are bluer."

Split: "Don't know" is Paul's comment on the story that has kept the western world awake for two weeks - namely, the rumoured split of the biggest-band-since-the-Beatles. But there are further gems: "I spoke to Noel the day; he got back at 1am," says Paul. "I said, `What's the story then, bro?' And he says, `We're not splitting up."

Yoko Ono: Pouting Patsy Kensit, a suburban sex kitten from Blighty, has been dubbed the new Yoko Ono. Namely, a band wrecker. Is this taking the Beatles' analogy a tad far? Paul on this pressing matter: "Patsy's, what, 5ft 6ins, 5ft 7ins, blonde hair? Yoko is like 5ft, ugly, know what I mean?" That's put the matter straight, then.

Family Values: Famed mother Peggy features heavily in the Gallagher mythology. In fact, the Gallaghers harp on about their old mum in a manner horribly reminiscent of the Krays. In Peggy's eyes, the millionaire sons who are a revolutionary force in British music must be no better than her firstborn stay-at-home. The world may beg to differ, but Peggy loves all her sons.

Fame Prospects: Extremely bad.