Fearne Cotton discusses emotional independence: ‘In my thirties, I was too quick to reach for help’

‘I rarely figured out problems on my own or sat with my feelings’, she said

Fearne Cotton has opened up about the value of emotional independence, saying that in her thirties, she “was too quick to reach for help”.

The broadcaster and podcast host has previously spoken about her struggles with anxiety but, in a new interview, has said that she now feels more able to cope with things alone.

Referencing an interview with Jada Pinkett Smith on her Happy Place podcast, Cotton said that the actor talked about emotional independence.

“At the time, I didn’t know what she meant,” she told Metro. “But I totally get it now.

“In my thirties, I was too quick to reach for help,” she continued.

“Reaching out for help is amazing and integral at times but I got to the point when faced with any problem, I would feel I had to ring or text someone and needed for someone to tell me what to do. I rarely figured out problems on my own or sat with my feelings.”

She added: “As I’ve got older, I am now able to pause, step back and ask myself – does this really matter? If it does matter, I ask myself, why does it matter? What are the feelings that are coming up, but now I’m able to sort things out a little more easily on my own.”

Cotton described the exchange as one of the biggest life lessons she had learned from her podcast guests.

The 41-year-old became the first regular female presenter of the Radio 1 Chart Show in 2007, and began presenting her Happy Place podcast, which has included guests such as Dawn French, Hillary Clinton and Tom Daley, in 2018.

However, in 2021, she revealed that she felt compelled to quit the BBC due to mental health struggles.

“I had to walk away because it was literally ruining my mind,” Cotton told Red Magazine in 2021.

“A lot of people still believe in this myth that people on TV or social media are these perfect people with perfect lives, and, of course, it’s all a load of b*******.”

She added that fame tends to create a barrier between a person and “real life”.

“It doesn’t matter what my job is. It doesn’t matter how many followers I have. Let’s just connect on the most human level, because all fame does is create distance between you and real life. I don’t want to be disconnected from real life. I want to be in the thick of it,” she said.