Watch for signs of partners who are being controlled. Financial abuse affects one in five

Most victims of these abuse are women and the harm done ‘is all too often hidden’

(Chris Furlong/Getty Images)

Do you know anyone who suffers from financial abuse? You may well do but are probably not aware of it. One in five people are victims, and the majority of victims are female.

What is financial abuse? It’s when someone else controls your finances. It often starts in relationships with a sensible decision for one partner to pay the bills and sort out a couple’s finances. But it can end up in exploitation and manipulation that leaves victims without any access to cash, meaning in effect that they may have no way to escape the abuse.

The domestic violence charity Refuge and the Co-operative Bank published a report this week that revealed three-fifths of financial abuse cases are reported by women. Key life stage events can be the trigger but it is most likely to begin – with women on the receiving end – when they move in with a partner, when they get married, or when they have children.

And because it can happen insidiously, victims often don’t realise they’re being abused until they try and do something independent, such as asking for money to buy themselves some new clothes or a short holiday. The refusal can be the moment when they realise they’re trapped.

“The harm done to victims of financial abuse is all too often hidden,” warns Gillian Guy of Citizens Advice. “Few people are aware it is a form of domestic abuse, so many do not see the signs when victims have little control over their finances or seem fearful of upsetting their partner.”

One of the few pieces of financial advice I give to young people is to have a secret “escape fund”. Just a few hundred pounds in a bank or building society that no one knows about could be enough to provide the means for escaping an abusive relationship, even if it’s just a matter of staying in a hotel for a couple of nights while you rebuild your life and get support.

For sufferers of financial abuse, such advice is too late of course. So I urge all of you to consider if anyone you know has displayed signs that they’re in a controlling and upsetting relationship.

Ms Guy says: “If you have concerns over the Christmas period that a friend or family member might be in an abusive relationship, and you feel able to talk to them about this, it is important to find a safe space and to suggest that they seek specialist help.”