Finance: The Trader: We City sippers don't belong in Wharf bars

The problem is, lots of `Other People' are there as well

THE END of the world is nigh. That may sound melodramatic, but in many ways it's spot on. You see, rumour has it that the bank is about to relocate to Canary Wharf - and if that doesn't count as the end of the world I don't know what does.

"But the rumours might be wrong," says Jane as we sit over a bottle of oaky red in our favourite after-work wine bar. "You know how City types love to gossip, especially at the end of a boring summer." Unfortunately, much as I'd love to believe Jane, our directors have come out and categorically denied there's a move afoot, which as Rory points out makes it pretty well inevitable.

The thought is enough to make a girl weep, even in public. "Oh, please don't look so sad," Jane says. "I'm sure it won't be that bad. I've heard the shops are actually quite good now; I mean, you can buy Filofax inserts and shoes and sushi - all the essential stuff. "

I snuffle sadly into a paper napkin. Somehow, I don't think being able to buy a linen shirt in my non-existent breaks is going to compensate for 20 more minutes of travelling each way - and that's on a good day, I'm told. It's not as if I don't get up early enough at the moment. At this rate, it won't be worth going to bed in the first place.

Still, it's not all bad news, I suppose. For a start, all those people who colonised Fulham because they thought it was terribly vulgar to live south of the river will now understand why the rest of us didn't.

I mean, I don't see our directors doing a Morgan Stanley and laying on a bus for their far-flung SW10 employees. With any luck, our gilts traders will be permanently tired and smugness levels in the office will plummet.

The thought of drink has me heading to the bar for another bottle, and by the time I return Jane is ready with more cheery thoughts. The main one seems to be that there are wine bars at the Wharf as well, just as chrome-shiny as those in the Square Mile. "No fake wood panelling, no swirly red-and-orange carpets, no smell of stale beer," she says enthusiastically.

"Rory will be disappointed," I reply. "Those are his favourite."

Deep down, I'm back to not being cheerful. Unlike Jane, I have actually flogged out to E14 to see for myself and it's not like the City at all. The bars may look the same, but the problem is there are lots of Other People in there as well.

"What, you mean, people who don't work in finance?" Jane says. "But that's terrible." And the sad thing is, she's right. After all, you don't think all those banks and brokers and traders have squeezed themselves into the same small space round Bank for the past few hundred years because they can't bear to be apart? No, it's because everyone else hates us. And now we're going to have to mingle.

"So I was standing at the bar waiting to be served," I say to Jane, "and some scruffy woman with lots of bangles shoved in and said something pointed about how some people thought they bloody owned the place. Then she went back to the other end of the room and stood around laughing in our direction and looking superior with a whole load of types in Nehru- collar linen jackets."

"Don't let them make you feel small," Jane says. "They're just jealous because you earn more. You should be used to that by now."

But I'm not. After all, as we all know, money isn't everything.

thetrader@hotmail.com

News
Jacqueline Bisset has claimed that young women today are obsessed with being 'hot', rather than 'charming', 'romantic' or 'beautiful'
people
Arts and Entertainment
Lena Dunham
booksLena Dunham's memoirs - written at the age of 28 - are honest to the point of making you squirm
Arts and Entertainment
A bit rich: Maggie Smith in Downton Abbey
tvDownton Abbey review: It's six months since we last caught up with the Crawley clan
Sport
Frank Lampard and his non-celebration
premier leagueManchester City vs Chelsea match report from the Etihad Stadium
PROMOTED VIDEO
News
people
Life and Style
A new app has been launched that enables people to have a cuddle from a stranger
techNew app offers 'PG alternative' to dating services like Tinder
Sport
Greg Dyke insists he will not resign as Football Association chairman after receiving a watch worth more than £16,000 but has called for an end to the culture of gifts being given to football officials
football
Arts and Entertainment
Jake Quickenden sings his heart out in his second audition
tvX Factor: How did the Jakes - and Charlie Martinez - fare?
Sport
premier league
Arts and Entertainment
'New Tricks' star Dennis Waterman is departing from the show after he completes filming on two more episodes
tvOnly remaining original cast-member to leave crime series
Sport
Mario Balotelli celebrates his first Liverpool goal
premier leagueLiverpool striker expressed his opinion about the 5-3 thriller with Leicester - then this happened
News
ebooksAn unforgettable anthology of contemporary reportage
News
Britain's shadow chancellor Ed Balls (L) challenges reporter Rob Merrick for the ball during the Labour Party versus the media soccer match,
peopleReporter left bleeding after tackle from shadow Chancellor in annual political football match
Arts and Entertainment
Female fans want more explicit male sex in Game of Thrones, George R R Martin says
tvSpoiler warning: Star of George RR Martin's hit series says viewers have 'not seen the last' of him/her
News
i100
News
i100
Sport
Plenty to ponder: Amir Khan has had repeated problems with US immigration because of his Muslim faith and now American television may shun him
boxing
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs Money & Business

Senior BA - Motor and Home Insurance

£400 - £450 Per Day: Clearwater People Solutions Ltd: **URGENT CONTRACT ROLE**...

Market Risk & Control Manager

Up to £100k or £450p/d: Saxton Leigh: My client is a leading commodities tradi...

SQL Developer - Watford/NW London - £320 - £330 p/d - 6 months

£320 - £330 per day: Ashdown Group: The Ashdown Group have been engaged by a l...

Head of Audit

To £75,000 + Pension + Benefits + Bonus: Saxton Leigh: My client is looking f...

Day In a Page

A roller-coaster tale from the 'voice of a generation'

Not That Kind of Girl:

A roller-coaster tale from 'voice of a generation' Lena Dunham
London is not bedlam or a cradle of vice. In fact it, as much as anywhere, deserves independence

London is not bedlam or a cradle of vice

In fact it, as much as anywhere, deserves independence
Vivienne Westwood 'didn’t want' relationship with Malcolm McLaren

Vivienne Westwood 'didn’t want' relationship with McLaren

Designer 'felt pressured' into going out with Sex Pistols manager
Jourdan Dunn: Model mother

Model mother

Jordan Dunn became one of the best-paid models in the world
Apple still coolest brand – despite U2 PR disaster

Apple still the coolest brand

Despite PR disaster of free U2 album
Scottish referendum: The Yes vote was the love that dared speak its name, but it was not to be

Despite the result, this is the end of the status quo

Boyd Tonkin on the fall-out from the Scottish referendum
Manolo Blahnik: The high priest of heels talks flats, Englishness, and why he loves Mary Beard

Manolo Blahnik: Flats, Englishness, and Mary Beard

The shoe designer who has been dubbed 'the patron saint of the stiletto'
The Beatles biographer reveals exclusive original manuscripts of some of the best pop songs ever written

Scrambled eggs and LSD

Behind The Beatles' lyrics - thanks to Hunter Davis's original manuscript copies
'Normcore' fashion: Blending in is the new standing out in latest catwalk non-trend

'Normcore': Blending in is the new standing out

Just when fashion was in grave danger of running out of trends, it only went and invented the non-trend. Rebecca Gonsalves investigates
Dance’s new leading ladies fight back: How female vocalists are now writing their own hits

New leading ladies of dance fight back

How female vocalists are now writing their own hits
Mystery of the Ground Zero wedding photo

A shot in the dark

Mystery of the wedding photo from Ground Zero
His life, the universe and everything

His life, the universe and everything

New biography sheds light on comic genius of Douglas Adams
Save us from small screen superheroes

Save us from small screen superheroes

Shows like Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D are little more than marketing tools
Reach for the skies

Reach for the skies

From pools to football pitches, rooftop living is looking up
These are the 12 best hotel spas in the UK

12 best hotel spas in the UK

Some hotels go all out on facilities; others stand out for the sheer quality of treatments