From sweet to sour: the punch-lines of '92

Throw in a fax and a camcorder and we may think about it: Amstrad shareholders large and small rejected Alan Sugar's plan to take the company private at 30p a share. The shares now stand at 23p.

Memo from Tiny Rowland to shareholders (part 1): Here's the good news - a large block of Lonrho shares have traded at 115p each.

Memo from Tiny Rowland to shareholders (part 2): Now here's the bad news - the shares were mine. Your shares are still worth 76p.

What Everyone Wants: Philip Green left Amber Day with a pounds 1.13m pay off.

But I only asked if they wanted sugar in their tea. The Maxwell brothers followed the advice of their barristers and remained silent when they hauled in front of a House of Commons select committee, in case they were charged. They were.

Don't worry dear, I'm sure the insurance will pay up: Around 6,000 Lloyd's members were told they would have to foot the bill for losses exceeding pounds 2bn. Many laid out even consulting more lawyers on how they could get their money back.

So what's new? Taurus, the Stock Exchange's whizz-bang share registration system, was delayed. Again.

Mr Lamont, there's a man at the door with a truckfull of tenners: George Soros dumped the pound ahead of Black Wednesday and made the best part of a billion.

A crappy ending: Gerald Ratner parted company with his eponymous jewellers. He got a payoff of pounds 375,000.

We apologise for the delayed departure of this flight: GPA's pounds 600m flotation was pulled hours before take off.

We apologise for the indefinitely delayed departure of this flight: Dan-Air, butt of a million bad airline jokes, was swallowed up by British Airways. Captain Dan Dare went to that great pilot's rest room in the sky.

Dear Sir, I have just sold my company for pounds 560m. Is this a record? Richard Branson disposed of Virgin to Thorn-EMI.

On second thoughts, I'll leave the trainers. They're just not me. Pentland agreed to buy Adidas, then pulled out when it took a closer look at what was underfoot of the company's finances.

The optional city tour will take place after fruhstuck. Thomas Cook was sold to LTU, a German travel company for pounds 200m.

It's a lovely building and it's completely surrounded by debts as far as the eye can see. Canary Wharf, the apple in Mrs Thatcher's eye finally went into receivership.

Well, I never did like Mr Kipling's cakes much anyway. Lord Hanson made a bid for RHM, then walked away when iced by Tomkins.

That reminds me, I must go to the dentist again. United Newspapers closed down Punch.

But they seemed like such decent chaps. Lord Bingham's enquiry into the BCCI collapse severely criticised the Bank of England for lax supervision.

Here's a good story; you're all fired. David Montgomery took over as chief executive of Mirror Group Newspapers and laid off 100 casual journalists.

And Mickey waved his magic wand and the shares fell like a stone: Euro Disneyland in Paris failed to cast a spell over investors. Euro Disney shares dropped by more than 50 per cent during the year.

It's teamwork wot does it, Monsieur. The opening of Channel Tunnel was delayed again as operators Eurotunnel locked swords with builders Transmanche Link.

Very nice, but don't give up your day job. Norman Lamont said he sang in the bath after Black Wednesday, the day interest rates jumped twice and the pound made an undignified exit from the European exchange rate mechanism.

On the other hand, do give up your day job. One month after Black Wedndesday, 66 per cent of respondents to an opinion poll said they thought the Chancellor should resign. He didn't.

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