Monkey business in Pembroke: the advertising world

Move over, Baywatch beauties, Loal the orang-utan is set to become the new creature of cool.

Or at least this is what Sunkist, the makers of the orange fizzy drink, would have us believe. Loal makes his debut tomorrow in the new Sunkist TV campaign which portray the orang-utan as a totally hip drinker.

Loal will be seen sitting casually in a Cadillac, thumbing a lift and luxuriating in a whirlpool bath.

I understand that the long-armed eight-year-old was a model of professionalism during the shoots, though he did cause something of a stir on Venice Beach when he emerged from his trailer wearing a nappy. (Loal may be many things, but not toilet-trained, apparently.)

He also took a shine to the leading actress. 'He did seem to be getting friendly but we are not sure the relationship has a future,' said a Sunkist spokesman. Loal is believed to be distraught at the rebuff.

That Detta O'Cathain, director of London's Barbican Centre, has made her way to the top is hardly surprising given her punishing early starts. According to the April issue of Good Housekeeping, her schedule goes like this:

5.30am. Get up. Throw on swimsuit and tracksuit.

5.35. Do Bible studies. 'I'm nearly at the end of the New Testament, then I shall go back to Genesis.'

6.10. Walk to the pool at Holmes Place to swim lengths . . . And so it goes on. The energetic baroness is at St Paul's for Communion service by 8am, then M&S for a quick shop before arriving at her desk at nine.

Vendors of the Big Issue, the newspaper sold by the homeless who keep a proportion of the proceeds, are clearly becoming more ambitious. Our man at Old Street tube station has adjusted his patter. 'Buy the Big Issue and help me buy a Porsche,' he cried.

No one can accuse the management of the old Express Foods of failing to comply with the Trade Descriptions Act. Seeking a new identity following its buyout from Grand Metropolitan in 1992, the cheese manufacturer decided to change its name. After a collective racking of creative brains, the directors shouted Eureka. The business, best known for its Stilton, will be renamed The Cheese Company.

Interesting to see that Westland Group, Michael Heseltine's favourite helicopter company, is to replace LWT in the FT-SE mid 250. This follows the swallowing of LWT by Granada.

Given that Westland is itself the subject of a takeover bid from GKN, which already holds a substantial stake, one can only assume that Westland's elevation will be temporary.

The sponsored ice skating at the Broadgate rink in the City last week produced some colourful entrants. Lloyds Bank entered the fastest team, averaging 55 laps per person. Their speediest skater made life difficult for himself by dressing as a waiter and carrying a tray of drinks.

Schroders won the fancy dress competition for turning out in black lycra body suits topped with bikinis for the men and swimming trunks by the women.

Solicitors Linklaters and Paines, who sponsored the event, fielded several partners including David Cheyne, who had never donned a pair of skates in his life.

But some traditions die hard. One of the Lehman Brothers team completed his laps in full suit, carrying an umbrella and, shame on him, a copy of the Financial Times.