We're loving Fascinating Aida (they style themselves as Britain's top female comedy singing trio, though it can't be a large category) and their take on the blessed Ryanair. Check it out for yourself on YouTube, but this sample lyric sums it up: "Cheap flights, cheap flights, we should have gone by sea; there's no such thing as fecking flights for 50p." The tirade – though no doubt Ryanair will see it as more of a tribute – continues in that fashion for a good five minutes.
A winning bet at Paddy Power
Our apologies to Asda, who we mentioned yesterday in an item about corporate sponsors which Wayne Rooney might lose in the wake of his little local difficulty. As we reported, Paddy Power, the high-street bookmaker, has installed the supermarket as its favourite to be the first to get rid of Rooney, but an Asda spokesman is swiftly in touch to point out this will be a little tricky since "we haven't had a relationship with Wayne for more than six years now". So, if you've already placed a bet with Paddy Power, demand your winnings.
Sage advice for Barclays Bank
Viz, the comic for grown-ups, doesn't usually go in for social or political satire, but this suggestion from its popular "top tips" section should bring a smile to all but the most humourless of City bankers. "Barclays: make more of your casino banking ethos by combining cash machines with fruit machines," the magazine helpfully suggests in the light of this week's Bob Diamond appointment.
Hot ticket to the only gig in town
All the glamorous invitations end up in the Diary's inbox eventually, and it was with great excitement that we received news of "the official launch of a £5m investment in the livestock industry" yesterday. Our enthusiasm was in no way dimmed when further investigation revealed that the invitation is actually to a tour of the Countess of Cranbrook's new abbatoir in Suffolk. It's tough work, but someone has to do it.Reuse content