Pembroke: Go East, young man

A group of unemployed East Enders who met in a Spitalfields Job Centre yesterday launched a project to encourage tourism and create jobs in their old stamping ground. The Thames Tourism Trust announced that from the middle of August tourists will be able to stroll along three heritage trails taking in some of the famous and infamous corners of the East End, including the sites of old gin palaces and Cable Street, a notorious murder spot.

Visitors wil be supplied with pop-up maps, and tapes that will tell the story as they go along. Personal cassette players will be available for hire. Also planned is a 'Home Hospitality programme', where tourists can stay with a real, live, East End resident. 'We have a chronic shortage of hotels in this area,' explained the trust's chairman, Trevor Soames.

The trust plans to produce a leaflet telling the story of Ron and Reggie Kray and the whole Sixties scene in East London. Mr Soames has not seen Reggie yet, but is planning a visit. 'He will be completing his sentence soon and perhaps there is a contribution he can make,' he said, sounding a little uncertain.

You can hear the titters already. We will soon be able to drink to safe sex with a glass of brandy called Condom.

Condom is a small town in south-west France known for its Armagnac brandy and ribald giggles from passing British tourists. Now it is cashing in on the two by producing a special vintage to celebrate the 60th birthday of Durex contraceptives.

The special tipple - called Bishop of Condom - will be flown into Britain by balloon in September and offered to leading wholesale buyers of Durex.

'For years, hundreds of British tourists have come to take photos of themselves and have a laugh in front of road signs with the name of our town on it,' distiller Maurice Papelorey says. 'Durex went a bit further and ordered this vintage blend.'

BZW has wheeled out its specialist stores analyst, Rover the Guide Dog, who makes a welcome return in the broker's latest note on Kingfisher.

Rover, who was snatched from the dole queues, is a veteran sector watcher with a lifetime of expertise on Great Universal Stores. 'This allowed the entirely accurate prediction that GUS would enfranchise the 'A' shares - admittedly, in each of the six years before it happened,' BZW says.

A shareholder tackled the big issue at Brent Walker's annual meeting yesterday. One got up to ask if next year's meeting could be moved from 10.30am to 11.00am so he would qualify for a cheap day return.