Pembroke: Roll up, roll up

THE ENLIGHTENED TOBACCO COMPANY, which launched the much-publicised Death cigarettes two years ago, is raising cash through the Business Expansion Scheme and adding another brand to its portfolio. Death Lights, a low-tar, low-nicotine cigarette, is to be launched this year in a striking white packet with a black embossed skull and crossbones logo.

What's the point, you might think? 'We want to consolidate the brand and give honest smokers a choice - death or slow death,' explains managing director 'BJ' Cunningham cheerfully.

Loss-making but claiming to sell a million cigarettes a week, ETC is raising pounds 850,000 (closing date is Friday the 13th) to improve distribution and help reach its bold ambition of a 0.079 per cent of the UK's pounds 9bn baccy market. 'We've got good wholesale distribution but not good retail distribution,' says 'BJ'. 'We need a sales force to physically get the fags on the shelves.'

PETER DAVIS, chairman and chief executive of Reed Elsevier, clearly found yesterday's inaugural results meetings more taxing than expected. He had to cut the meetings short to dash off for an osteopath's appointment at noon after injuring his back while sailing in North Wales over the weekend. 'I just pulled on something a little too heavily,' he explains. 'The lunchtime appointment was the only one I could get.'

NEWS OF A REPORT, The Market for Condoms, reaches our desk. The 166-page survey analyses global trade in condoms and estimates it at a mind-boggling 8.5 billion units. In Japan, where brands include Wrinkle Zero-0, and one company sells condoms from door to door, men use an average of five each per year. This might not sound a lot but we are told that it equates to 600 million units.

CAN THIS be a coincidence? A mere five days after Colin Forsyth, a director of London United Investments, wrote to Michael Heseltine to complain about the lack of progress with the Government's three-year investigation into the insolvent insurance group, the inspectors have completed their report.

The news reached Mr Forsyth on the same day the Independent reported his suspicion that the report was being sat upon.

Still, completed is one thing, published is another. Mr Forsyth, and others concerned with Britain's biggest insurance insolvency, must hope the completed report does not disappear into the vortex of the DTI.

Suggested Topics
Start your day with The Independent, sign up for daily news emails
ebooks
ebooksAn introduction to the ground rules of British democracy
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs Money & Business

Recruitment Genius: Sales Assistant / Buyer

£15000 - £17000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This company offers a range of ...

Recruitment Genius: Customer Service Advisor

£15000 - £16000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Customer Service Advisors are r...

SThree: Trainee Recruitment Consultant

£20000 - £25000 per annum + OTE £45K: SThree: SThree were established in 1986....

Recruitment Genius: Compliance Manager

£40000 - £60000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Compliance Manager is require...

Day In a Page

Is this the future of flying: battery-powered planes made of plastic, and without flight decks?

Is this the future of flying?

Battery-powered planes made of plastic, and without flight decks
Isis are barbarians – but the Caliphate is a dream at the heart of all Muslim traditions

Isis are barbarians

but the Caliphate is an ancient Muslim ideal
The Brink's-Mat curse strikes again: three tons of stolen gold that brought only grief

Curse of Brink's Mat strikes again

Death of John 'Goldfinger' Palmer the latest killing related to 1983 heist
Greece debt crisis: 'The ministers talk to us about miracles' – why Greeks are cynical ahead of the bailout referendum

'The ministers talk to us about miracles'

Why Greeks are cynical ahead of the bailout referendum
Call of the wild: How science is learning to decode the way animals communicate

Call of the wild

How science is learning to decode the way animals communicate
Greece debt crisis: What happened to democracy when it’s a case of 'Vote Yes or else'?

'The economic collapse has happened. What is at risk now is democracy...'

If it doesn’t work in Europe, how is it supposed to work in India or the Middle East, asks Robert Fisk
The science of swearing: What lies behind the use of four-letter words?

The science of swearing

What lies behind the use of four-letter words?
The Real Stories of Migrant Britain: Clive fled from Zimbabwe - now it won't have him back

The Real Stories of Migrant Britain

Clive fled from Zimbabwe - now it won’t have him back
Africa on the menu: Three foodie friends want to popularise dishes from the continent

Africa on the menu

Three foodie friends want to popularise dishes from the hot new continent
Donna Karan is stepping down after 30 years - so who will fill the DKNY creator's boots?

Who will fill Donna Karan's boots?

The designer is stepping down as Chief Designer of DKNY after 30 years. Alexander Fury looks back at the career of 'America's Chanel'
10 best statement lightbulbs

10 best statement lightbulbs

Dare to bare with some out-of-the-ordinary illumination
Wimbledon 2015: Heather Watson - 'I had Serena's poster on my wall – now I'm playing her'

Heather Watson: 'I had Serena's poster on my wall – now I'm playing her'

Briton pumped up for dream meeting with world No 1
Wimbledon 2015: Nick Bollettieri - It's time for big John Isner to produce the goods to go with his thumping serve

Nick Bollettieri's Wimbledon Files

It's time for big John Isner to produce the goods to go with his thumping serve
Dustin Brown: Who is the tennis player who knocked Rafael Nadal out of Wimbeldon 2015?

Dustin Brown

Who is the German player that knocked Nadal out of Wimbeldon 2015?
Ashes 2015: Damien Martyn - 'England are fired up again, just like in 2005...'

Damien Martyn: 'England are fired up again, just like in 2005...'

Australian veteran of that Ashes series, believes the hosts' may become unstoppable if they win the first Test