Rogue Trader: Financial news in brief
Sunday 19 September 1999
* "Rumours of the death of polarisation turned out to be premature." Thank God for that.
* "Multi-ties are the established operating method in Australia." So always wear three ties when you are in Sydney.
* "None of us knows what the future holds." Death and taxes?
* "What does the average financial adviser do when he or she is not poring over a hot set of actuarial figures?" I wonder.
* A stunning riposte: "Well, all kinds of things, actually."
* Hot news from the streets: "McDonald's is probably the best-known franchise operation in the world."
* Good news for golf clubs: "A company director's ... duties are of an intermittent nature to be performed at periodical board meetings."
* "Today's workforce faces the fact that few jobs are for life. [More] people experience redundancy or frequent career changes. Part-time work is becoming common." You don't say!
* "The pressure is on life companies to show endowment policies offer good value." Or should that be rip-off?
* "83 of 145 broker pension funds and 81 out of 136 broker life funds decreased last year, while 19 of the 33 broker life and 26 of the 36 broker pension funds showed negative returns in the balanced fund category." Now say that when you're drunk.
- 1 'Kidnapped boy may have been abused and murdered by VIP paedophile ring,' say police
- 2 Ridley Scott on Exodus, Gods and Kings casting: 'I'm not going to get it financed if my lead actor is Mohammad so-and-so from such-and-such'
- 3 Girl, 7, gets Tesco to remove 'stupid' sign suggesting superheroes are 'for boys'
- 4 This letter from a reader explains why women can’t play football
- 5 'You should come to my house and eat cheeses with me': 4-year-old sends adorable love letter to girl at school
Black Friday 2014: Opening times for Asda, John Lewis, GAME, PC World and Argos
Miss Honduras Maria Jose Alvarado's stylist Luis Alfredo Garcia is found stabbed to death
Dr Lam Hoe Yeoh: Voyeur doctor jailed for eight years after using network of hidden cameras to film patients, colleagues and friends on the toilet
'You should come to my house and eat cheeses with me': 4-year-old sends adorable love letter to girl at school
Scientists predict green energy revolution after incredible new graphene discoveries
Ukip says babies born to immigrants in the UK should be classed as migrants – which would include Nigel Farage’s own children
Rochester by-election: Ukip gains second MP as Tory defector Mark Reckless holds seat
'Beast of Bolsover' Dennis Skinner takes Ukip MP Mark Reckless to task moments after he is sworn in
The young are the new poor: Sharp increase in number of under-25s living in poverty, while over-65s are better off than ever
Tamir Rice: 12-year-old boy playing with fake gun dies after being shot by Ohio police
Bollywood actress Veena Malik sentenced to 26 years in jail for blasphemy after appearing in mock TV wedding scene
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