ROGUE TRADER; The week ahead ...

MONDAY

Belgrade Car Show opens. 'Scheduled for this spring, but disrupted by Nato air strikes' it says on the hand out. Interims from Scottish Media Group, currently bidding pounds 130m to buy GMTV and itself a (hostile) takeover target for Granada. GMTV is a loss maker, but in the barmy world of television economics, it makes sense to swallow a poison pill for breakfast. In a further complication SMG is partly owned by Flextech, another highly valued television loss-maker (see Thursday).

TUESDAY

Vice-President Kinnock to address European Parliament Budgetary Control Committee: "Wooowwwhh Yeeaaahh are you feeelin' allllllright!" Interims from lots of companies including Iceland and PowerGen. Finals from Billiton, the vast mining conglomerate loathed by some. Analysts think that profits will be down, partly because of problems with the world aluminium market. So, in a cheap publicity stunt the company circulated a cute picture of Betsie the Blaster, South Africa's first black woman open-cast demolitions expert.

WEDNESDAY

Interims from Anglo-American, another mining company, making its debut after joining the Exchange in May. Sadly, the company's fortunes are based on gold mining. Legal stationery giant Stat-Plus is one of several other firms to report. The company wants lawyers to swear their affidavits and make their depositions and what-not on-line. Which is great news for hackers who, being anarchists, will at last get to bring the legal system to its knees. Bank of England interest rate decision. Last month it was unanimous in holding rates steady at 5 per cent. But soaring house prices and the return of a consumer spending frenzy might tempt it in the direction of a hike. Neil Kinnock nears halfway point of Brussels speech.

THURSDAY

Flextech - the TV "channel packager" responsible for the tedious rubbish you get for "free" when you buy a subscription to Sky Sport - is to report. Losses were reduced last time and the company feels bullish - having secured the rights to most of the BBC's archive in time to ride the wave of digital cable. Green Party conference opens in Europe's largest uninhabitable, ecologically devastated, chemically desertified, sand-blown hell-hole - Southport. Neil Kinnock reaches the end of a digression about why cavemen never had the chance to go to University.

FRIDAY

Car Show ends in Belgrade. Boat Show opens in Southampton. Kinnock establishes video link to Green Party conference.

Entrepreneurial Edwards ...

PRINCE EDWARD: Held back by jealousy and the British habit of hating success. Admired in Hollywood.

PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND: Held back by virtue of being an inanimate object. Admired by Canadians.

EDWARD 'EDDIE THE EAGLE' EDWARDS: Held back by virtue of being absolutely hopeless. Admired in Britain.

KING EDWARD VARIETY: Held back by virtue of being a potato. Admired in Idaho, Belgium and Prince Edward Island.

Financial news in brief

Our weekly bench test, value for money guide to the financial press. This week: Business Week versus Goal! magazine

Item Business Week Goal!

Price pounds 2.10 pounds 1.50

No of pages 66 108

Price per page 3.18p 1.38p

Slogan Intelligent Business For Lads Who Live

News With a Football

Global Perspective

Typical Advert Remy Martin Pot Noodle

David Beckham? No thanks! Yes please!

No of pics of reformed Lots (probably) One (George

bung-taking managers Graham)

Shiny paper? A bit Very

Tables full of Some Lots

meaningless

numbers

Attitude to Frankfurt Europe's financial Aren't they in the

powerhouse German second

division?

Typical headline WILL THE FED CAN KANU

MOVE AGAIN? KICK IT?

% of content which 14.3%: "Greater 4.1%: "Gazza

was news to me citizen intimacy can and Incey are set

be achieved by to rule the

IT outsourcing" Premiership"

% of content worth 0.8%: according to 0.4%: "I believe

repeating at a party a new book, many Chris Sutton is

American Doctors going to have a

will try and murder great season for

you if they get the Chelsea"

chance

P/E ratio (photo/ 50/50 1,000/0.5

editorial)

RT value index 3.366445 4.59875