Girls shouldn't expect to 'have it all' says school head
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Independent Minds
Girls' expectations that they can "have it all" may be overly ambitious and they should not feel guilty for taking time out of future careers to raise children, a leading headmistress said today.
Schools need to teach teenage girls about the realities of juggling a career with having children, and that life is more complicated than "having it all", according to Jill Berry, president of the Girls' Schools Association (GSA).
While it is "healthy" for girls to aim to have "a flash sports car with a baby seat in the back", they need to realise that they will face challenges and have to make choices in life, she said.
Speaking ahead of the GSA's annual conference in Harrogate next week, Mrs Berry told the Times Educational Supplement: "They will need to realise that there may be times when they might not want to work, or they might want to take a lesser job because their priorities have changed. It is important that they leave school at 18 with their eyes open."
Mrs Berry said that girls should "stop beating themselves up" if they cannot juggle a career with being a wife and mother at the same time.
"Your priorities shift, but you're not selling out - you are facing reality and trying to be realistic about what you can achieve and you should stop beating yourself up about it," she said.
Most women are unable to "keep all the plates spinning", Mrs Berry, who is also head of Dame Alice Harpur School in Bedford, said.
Message in recent years have led girls to expect that they can "have it all", but this has made life seem simpler than it is, she said.
But she said girls should still be taught that they can be independent and compete with men in the workplace.
"When my pupils try to wind me up by saying they plan to marry a rich man to support them, I ask them 'what if he runs off with the au pair?"'
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Comments
This just re-enforces the view that material possessions are the be all and end all of human existence. Even after the near meltdown of the banking sector from greed and excess there is still this pervasive view that money and possessions are the primary driver of human welfare. In my view and the view of numerous studies on human happiness relationships and feeding the senses are what makes people truly happy.
At a time when we are on the edge of environmental catastrophy and when the average UK lifestyle (which presumably doesn't include a sports car on the drive) relies on a 3 planet lifestyle I find it depressing that a woman in Jill Berry's position, one that should be about inspiring young people, uses her role to encourage young people to aspire to unsustainable lifestyles based on self-interest and greed.
Not all blokes here fit into that wide tar brushing you just used.
The point I was trying to make is that there are too many labels for women when all they are trying to do is to live a life that is fufilling to them. Sometimes they can't win - if they want a career, they are criticised for not being a full time parent, if they are a full time parent, they are criticised for being too dependent on men. I think not only should these choices be avaiable to women without fear of society's condemnation, but also to men.
I don't have children, but I used to work somewhere that I heard stories like yours daily. I hope that it gets resolved soon and that you are able to have the relationship with your children that you all need and deserve.
But it would be far more progressive, transformative and ecological if instead of stressing that "girls should not feel guilty for taking time out of future careers to raise children", the headmistress suggested that girls should not feel guilty about foregoing motherhood to pursue real ambitions and self-development.
This is the same old same old. Marry, plop brats, give up your life and independence, add to overpopluation, conspire in setting back other, more free-thinking and imaginative women who want more out of life than you.
We'll be in a bit of a muddle if every woman on earth decides to 'skip the kids'!
It's a bit like the old rhetorical question,asked of Mark Twain, "What would men be without women"?
Apparantly.
Shouldn't we be more concerned about our boys as well, telling them it's OK to step off the career ladder and that it's important for them to spend time with their families? Family life will be happier and fairer for all involved.
I mean .. you have GOT to be kidding ... is this all the girls in this country aim for these days? ... We spend all our time trying to make sure that everyone has equality in pay, rights, etc .. so that our girls can decide "all I want from my life is to marry the first rich guy I can jump into bed with" ?