Chalk Talk: Fair pay for teachers? You do the maths

Small wonder that Education Secretary Michael Gove is keen on performance-related pay. On a visit to Singapore, he found that ministers there have an imaginative way of devising their performance-related pay. They find out what the six highest performing professions are and then look at the six highest paid individuals in those professions. From these 36 salaries, they work out the mean salary and that becomes the Minister's pay.

Under this scheme, their Education Secretary earns £1 million a year. "I shared this information with the Prime Minister," he confided at a conference of newly-qualified headteachers last week, "only to be told this was one reform I would not be able to implement during my tenure as Education Secretary."

Instead, he is planning reforms to bring in performance related pay for our teachers. But perhaps not implemented in this fashion.

Following the news that Vince Cable is to appear in a Christmas special of the BBC TV series, Strictly Come Dancing, it's time for us to come up with some appropriate music.

I cannot help the opening line – "there may be trouble ahead" – of Fred Astaire's "Let's Face The Music And Dance" coming into my head.

I suppose if we were cruel and left it to students to decide on the tune it could be "Go Now" by the Moody Blues. Over to you, then!

r.garner@independent.co.uk