German PCs get all PC

"Full-bosomed" and "flat-chested" are out. Negroids and indianoids are banned, and German regional accents must remain unrecognised.

Such are the new orders of Germany's policepersons, after a purge of their vocabulary by the brigade of political correctness discovered serious shortcomings. A 13-year-old code of approved terminology must now be rewritten with the offending words blacked out.

It all started with an innocent-looking complaint from a Lutheran youth group, criticising certain "National Socialist racial classifications" employed by the forces of law and order. People of African origin were routinely described in police files as "negroid", and Indians - not the Native American variety - as "indianoid".

Such a charge is not to be taken lightly and the authorities immediately got to work. Two years on, their long-awaited report has been published and acted upon.

"It's a fair cop," they told the Lutherans. There is to be none of that negroid stuff from now on. Blacks are to be referred to, instead, as afrikanisch.

During their exhaustive search, the linguistic patrolpersons also uncovered other offensive descriptions. All too often, witnesses or suspects were described by inappropriate adjectives, such as "full- bosomed" and "flat-chested". The inspectors also objected to descriptions of regional accents, such as "Pomeranian", "Silesian" and "East Prussian".

But at least Bavaria, the most conservative Land, with the funniest accent to boot, does not have to worry. Arguing that not all Africans are black, the Bavarian interior ministry has opted out of the new guidelines. So, for a while longer, some suspects in Munich will remain "negroid"; flat-chested or otherwise.