Major's net losses

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By the early hours of 2 May, even the most diehard Conservatives had admitted it was all over. But 17 days on from the Labour landslide, the Central Office home page on the Internet is still looking forward to another 18 years of Tory rule, writes Iain Millar.

The most recent entry at is a message from John Major. "On the back of a sustained economic recovery, it is now time to turn our attention to building on these foundations - setting new goals for a new phase of Conservative Government. I look forward to a bright Conservative future - happy websurfing!"

It appears no one has bothered to update the website since the election. Central Office says their Internet man has spent the past fortnight inputting the disastrous election results.