Employment: Author, hack – is there nothing Pippa can't do?

  • @gillian_orr

After scathing reviews for her book Celebrate (not to mention its appearance in bargain bins), Pippa Middleton has turned to journalism to poke fun at her "glaringly obvious" advice by writing this week's Spectator diary. The magazine's editor, Fraser Nelson, tweeted: "Pippa Middleton's brilliant Spectator diary launches what ought to be a long and glitzy career in journalism. She's a natural!" Having already tried her hand at being an author and a journalist, let's see what other careers Middleton is completely unqualified for that she could try next.

Actress Where else do bouncy-coiffured girls with big pearly whites go but Hollywood? James Cameron, pay attention.

Olympic athlete Will we see Pippa rock up to Rio in 2016 for a spot of hockey?

Pop star Not being able to carry a tune isn't going to stop Pippa from conquering the charts. A novelty single is the way to go. Perhaps a cover of The Cheeky Girls' "Touch my bum"?

MP Surely William could pull some strings and get her into Parliament? Who else is going to sort out state benefits, drugs policies and NHS funding if not Pippa? It's what the people want.

Fashion designer Barely anyone is offering mumsy silk print dresses and knee-high boots at London Fashion Week these days. Pippa to the rescue!