Victoria Beckham: An apology

In-depth inquiry reveals pop genius and international style icon is beyond reproach...

It has come to our attention that in recent years, we, The Media, may have mistakenly given the impression that Victoria Beckham was a figure of ridicule. Certain articles and other items pertaining to the popular Spice Girls singer could have led readers to question her talent and integrity, it has been found. Indeed, some remarks relating to the well-known entertainer and mother of three were open to misinterpretation as criticism of her, and may have been received by some readers as such.

Now, a lengthy and in-depth inquiry has proven that Mrs Beckham is beyond reproach. Moreover, she is known to be respected as an International Style Icon and celebrated as the pinnacle of British culture. We therefore accept that everything we said before was wholly misleading and untrue, and issue an unreserved apology. We hope that Mrs Beckham can forgive us for this inaccurate reporting, which we now withdraw without exception.

The exhaustive investigation carried out by us, The Media, has found that the false and ambiguous reports concerning Mrs Beckham began as early as 1994, when she enlisted as a member of the band, henceforth known as the Pop Geniuses, the Spice Girls. During these early days of her meteoric and wholly deserved rise to fame, her enigmatic smile and aspects of her reserved personality led certain sections of The Media to mislabel her grace and natural reserve, referring to her, with clumsy affection, as "Posh".

This was not, of course, intended to signal standoffishness or lack of charm; in fact, the intention was to convey respect and deference. However, last week it was found that elements among the less-educated reaches of the reading public may have misunderstood this complex frame of reference, believing the appellation to be a joke, a nickname or a form of sport. We would like to insist that this was not the case.

Over the years that followed other aspects of our, The Media's, unfettered enthusiasm for Mrs Beckham, her career and her place in the national culture have been equally inelegantly expressed. For instance when, in 2000, some of the younger and less experienced members of ourselves, The Media, began to refer to her admiringly as Skeletal Spice, there were those among the public who assumed this to be a sign of disapproval or disrespect, we have been informed. Naturally we can rebut this inference wholeheartedly. Likewise, any reference, circa 2004, to a Ms Loos or persons of a similar nature was either the product of the writer's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any persons (living or dead), events or locales was entirely coincidental.

Nor, we are pleased to clarify, is this investigation, our apology or any of the events heretofore pertaining, timed to reflect or in any way coincide with the reading public's staunch refusal to hate Mrs Beckham and their insistence on buying her stylish new clothing range. As we are happy to point out, we, The Media, have been keen supporters of Mrs Beckham since day one, and any indications to the contrary have been entirely in the imaginations of you, the reading public. Shame on you. In fact, many of us in The Media have had Pops, or Posh Crops, since even before last week. Though they have never suited us quite as well as Mrs Beckham's does her.

We are happy to make this clear wholly, entirely and unreservedly, whatever you may think.

Sincerely,

The Media

Start your day with The Independent, sign up for daily news emails
News
Sir David Attenborough
people
Life and Style
Young girl and bowl of cereal
food + drink
News
Comic miserablist Larry David in 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'
peopleDirector of new documentary Misery Loves Comedy reveals how he got them to open up
Arts and Entertainment
Henry VIII played by Damien Lewis
tvReview: Scheming queens-in-waiting, tangled lines of succession and men of lowly birth rising to power – sound familiar?
PROMOTED VIDEO
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
ebooks
ebooksA year of political gossip, levity and intrigue from the sharpest pen in Westminster
Sport
football
Arts and Entertainment
'The Archers' has an audience of about five million
radioA growing number of listeners are voicing their discontent; so loudly that even the BBC's director-general seems worried
News
i100
Arts and Entertainment
Ready to open the Baftas, rockers Kasabian are also ‘great film fans’
musicExclusive: Rockers promise an explosive opening to the evening
Life and Style
David Bowie by Duffy
fashion
Arts and Entertainment
Hell, yeah: members of the 369th Infantry arrive back in New York
booksWorld War Z author Max Brooks honours WW1's Harlem Hellfighters in new graphic novel
News
advertisingVideo: The company that brought you the 'Bud' 'Weis' 'Er' frogs and 'Wasssssup' ads, has something up its sleeve for Sunday's big match
Arts and Entertainment
tv
News
i100
Environment
Dame Vivienne Westwood speaking at a fracking protest outside Parliament on Monday (AP)
environment
Life and Style
tech
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs Media

Ashdown Group: Marketing Manager - Manchester - Urgent Requirement!

£30000 - £35000 per annum + 20 days holidays & pension: Ashdown Group: Marketi...

Sauce Recruitment: Senior Management Accountant

£35000 - £40000 per annum: Sauce Recruitment: Working for a independently owne...

Sauce Recruitment: Senior Management Accountant

£17 - £20 per hour: Sauce Recruitment: Working for a independently owned and c...

Guru Careers: Mac Operator / Artworker

£Negotiable (DOE): Guru Careers: We are seeking a Mac Operator / Artworker to ...

Day In a Page

Isis hostage crisis: Militant group stands strong as its numerous enemies fail to find a common plan to defeat it

Isis stands strong as its numerous enemies fail to find a common plan to defeat it

The jihadis are being squeezed militarily and economically, but there is no sign of an implosion, says Patrick Cockburn
Virtual reality thrusts viewers into the frontline of global events - and puts film-goers at the heart of the action

Virtual reality: Seeing is believing

Virtual reality thrusts viewers into the frontline of global events - and puts film-goers at the heart of the action
Homeless Veterans appeal: MP says Coalition ‘not doing enough’

Homeless Veterans appeal

MP says Coalition ‘not doing enough’ to help
Larry David, Steve Coogan and other comedians share stories of depression in new documentary

Comedians share stories of depression

The director of the new documentary, Kevin Pollak, tells Jessica Barrett how he got them to talk
Has The Archers lost the plot with it's spicy storylines?

Has The Archers lost the plot?

A growing number of listeners are voicing their discontent over the rural soap's spicy storylines; so loudly that even the BBC's director-general seems worried, says Simon Kelner
English Heritage adds 14 post-war office buildings to its protected lists

14 office buildings added to protected lists

Christopher Beanland explores the underrated appeal of these palaces of pen-pushing
Human skull discovery in Israel proves humans lived side-by-side with Neanderthals

Human skull discovery in Israel proves humans lived side-by-side with Neanderthals

Scientists unearthed the cranial fragments from Manot Cave in West Galilee
World War Z author Max Brooks honours WW1's Harlem Hellfighters in new graphic novel

Max Brooks honours Harlem Hellfighters

The author talks about race, legacy and his Will Smith film option to Tim Walker
Why the league system no longer measures up

League system no longer measures up

Jon Coles, former head of standards at the Department of Education, used to be in charge of school performance rankings. He explains how he would reform the system
Valentine's Day cards: 5 best online card shops

Don't leave it to the petrol station: The best online card shops for Valentine's Day

Can't find a card you like on the high street? Try one of these sites for individual, personalised options, whatever your taste
Diego Costa: Devil in blue who upsets defences is a reminder of what Liverpool have lost

Devil in blue Costa is a reminder of what Liverpool have lost

The Reds are desperately missing Luis Suarez, says Ian Herbert
Ashley Giles: 'I'll watch England – but not as a fan'

Ashley Giles: 'I'll watch England – but not as a fan'

Former one-day coach says he will ‘observe’ their World Cup games – but ‘won’t be jumping up and down’
Greece elections: In times like these, the EU has far more dangerous adversaries than Syriza

Greece elections

In times like these, the EU has far more dangerous adversaries than Syriza, says Patrick Cockburn
Holocaust Memorial Day: Nazi victims remembered as spectre of prejudice reappears

Holocaust Memorial Day

Nazi victims remembered as spectre of prejudice reappears over Europe
Fortitude and the Arctic attraction: Our fascination with the last great wilderness

Magnetic north

The Arctic has always exerted a pull, from Greek myth to new thriller Fortitude. Gerard Gilbert considers what's behind our fascination with the last great wilderness