Now we know how poor Chris Evert felt during all those years spent looking over the net at her nemesis, Martina Navratilova. The latter was enduring her final trial on the penultimate day of 'I'm a Celebrity – Get Me out of Here!' (ITV1). With her head stuck inside a goldfish bowl, she had put up with hundreds of cockroaches and giant spiders crawling all over her. Then came the snakes. She opened her eyes and stared straight at a snake poised a couple of inches away from her face. You can guess who blinked first – even though snakes don't have eyelids.
It turned out that she had been bitten on the nose by one of the other creepy-crawlies and had shut her eyes because she had started to cry. After three weeks in the Australian jungle, not to mention 18 Grand Slam titles, it was hard to believe that she was able to shed a tear.
But the programme has been a resounding success for Navratilova, who has wormed her way into the nation's hearts by showing a vulnerable side (and swearing like a trooper) while still radiating the aura of a legend. When she dominated Wimbledon year after year, the respect and admiration were there but it was hard to like her.
So she wasn't crowned Queen of the Jungle. The only sporting winner in the eight series has been Phil Tufnell, and it remains a mystery how cricket's Mr Volatile pulled it off. He, too, has since entered the national consciousness in a positive, even cuddly light, even if that warm glow has been dimmed by his incessant voiceovers on adverts for credit companies.
It came as a shock to hear Martina call her ordeal "the hardest thing I've ever done". She described the show as "the tournament that keeps on going. You're happy that you've won the match and then it's 'Oh my god! I've got to win 20 more'." Her opponents in her heyday were obviously not good enough to test her.
So now we all love Martina. But hang on, repeatedly describing her bum as "peachy", now that really is going a step too far.
Welcome to the FA Cup, ITV. The "romance of the Cup" was there for all to see on Sunday as lowly Histon overcame once-mighty Leeds. Perched among the crowd, the commentators were assailed with the chant "ITV are fucking shit". Then there was a naked man in the dressing-room, eliciting complaints from viewers. The BBC would never have allowed anyone to expose themselves on a live broadcast, would they?
Meanwhile, on Sky Sports News, David Tanner greeted the news that Hearts would play Hibs in the Scottish Cup with the words "the last time Hibernian won the Scottish Cup was in 1902 – the same year Adolf Hitler turned 13". Tanner can certainly play wide on the right. But we might soon hear that "he's left".Reuse content