Sunday 25 April 1999
TORY PARTY. The Conservatives celebrated a big election victory last week, albeit one that happened in 1979. As part of the show, Margaret Thatcher and Edward Heath ended their 20-year feud by standing close to each other during a photocall. The question is, why? Neither could have any reason to stop hating the other, and one begins to suspect that at least one Madame Tussaud's-style effigy was used to achieve the effect. Later, Thatcher said some not quite unflattering things about Heath, which must have called for more hi-tech computer wizardry. They can do anything nowadays.
BIG FIVE ZERO. Nato looks set to commemorate 50 years of being the world's most butt-kickin' military alliance with nothing more than a quiet little ground war. There was no time for high fives at the big summit shindig in America this weekend, where all the talk was of what constitutes the sort of "semi-permissive" environment that Nato ground forces thrive in, and how many TV stations we have to bomb to achieve it.
WOODHEAD WITCH HUNT. You have to love Chris Woodhead. Okay, you don't have to, but it might help your final grade. Jokes like that might have been acceptable in a 1975 Bristol staff room, but this continual probing into the past of the Chief Inspector of Schools is nothing more than a witch hunt by his enemies. All he said was that relationships between teachers and sixth-formers could be "educative and experiential". He didn't say "and I oughta know".
MANDELSON LETTERS. Now that students are studying Earl Spencer's Diana eulogy, it's only a matter of time before they're given the correspondence of Peter Mandelson and Tony Blair. Schoolgirls in particular will relate to the melodrama of lines like "I felt greatly let down by you this morning, and embarrassed", and the letters remain an example of one basic rule of correspondence: Always Keep a Copy For Your Records.
PRINCE ON PORN. Last week Prince Philip spoke out against internet pornography. He may not seem uniquely qualified, but in this case it's probably a good thing that he has no idea what he's talking about - one hates to think where his research into the problem might have led him.
- 1 Planes go hybrid-electric in important step to greener flight
- 4 Hip hop is both racial and political, and for Iggy Azalea to suggest otherwise is insulting
- 5 Man hospitalised with pneumonia after downing eggnog at office Christmas party
Antonio Martin shooting: Black teenager may have tried to ambush patrolman, says police officer's lawyer
Orphan kangaroos spend Christmas without their parents
Northern Lights above Britain: Stunning Aurora Borealis illuminates Northumberland sky on Christmas Eve
New route to Mars could make manned mission much cheaper and easier
Isis 'did not shoot down Jordan war plane' before capturing pilot, says US
British actor Idris Elba cannot star as James Bond because he is black, says shock jock Rush Limbaugh
Rozanne Duncan: Ukip expels councillor for 'jaw-dropping' comments made in BBC TV interview
Germany anti-Islam protests: 17,000 march on Dresden against 'Islamification of the West'
Ukip member gets into Christmas spirit with Union Flag plea to Santa 'for our country back'
BBC director Danny Cohen: Rising UK antisemitism makes me feel more uncomfortable than ever
Alex Salmond has 'broken his word to the Scottish people' says Scottish Lib Dem leader
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