Blake Lively’s new lifestyle blog Preserve proves it is possible to have a website more inane than Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop
The actress is “hungry and not just for enchiladas”: assorted highlights from Lively’s new venture
Ladies and gentleman, the wait is over: Blake Lively’s website is here.
Introducing Preserve, the brainchild of the Gossip Girl actress and her team, a new version of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop – a source of entertainment for many a bored individual wishing to keep up with her health-focused lifestyle.
Let us begin with the editor’s letter, which is confusing as it is lengthy. But it does explain the name of the website – which is, incidentally, about preserving “elements of what makes life beautiful to us”. Such as ketchup (for sale in the e-commerce section), nice hats (a lesson in how to create a “halo of swagger radiating from your skull”) and the style of tattoo-covered bikers, something Lively herself is, unfortunately, yet to incorporate into her daily look.
But back to the editor’s letter, which the actress says is the “hardest thing I’ve had to do on my Preserve journey”.
“I am hungry, though... not just for enchiladas,” she writes. “I'm hungry for experience.
“I'm comfortable with the knowledge that I'm not a teacher, but rather, a student. I don't do any one thing perfectly. I do a lot of things though. Some well, some not-so-well.”
For those still unsure about the point of the venture, there is a film. A young girl wanders around aimlessly; there is a lot of hugging; a well-dressed man writes poetry on the street; a dog licks its chops; someone runs through a street in the rain wearing an American flag; people dance outside; people go surfing – all of which is, strangely, soundtracked by a man talking about dreams. It’s basically the Love Actually trailer without Hugh Grant. This is not a good thing.
Now to our favourite section of the site – the shop. You might think it would be stocked full of overpriced luxury products that most people would never see a purpose for, and yet Lively’s merchandise spans ketchup, lemon salt, wooden crates, decorative pillows, map-shaped lights, along with the more expected jewellery and clothes. Lively’s “treasures” are a diverse mix of arbitrary.
Preserve is also a philanthropic pursuit and aims to provide “5,000 children a meal, 2,000 children a blanket, and 2,700 children a warm hoodie, all within the US”. We’re not sure why hoodies over shoes or coats, but it’s a nice gesture all the same.
But for those cynical about her lifestyle project (sorry Blake), she has this message:
“We acknowledge that we are human and are flawed,” reads a statement. “But please accept, our intention is to do something pure. So we ask you, let this be a conversation. Help us grow. Help us give. Please critique us, teach us and be patient with us in the process, as ultimately we are all in this, this spinning sphere, together.”
This is a more self-aware omission than anything the mothership of 'celebrity' lifestyle musings, Gwyneth Paltrow, has ever uttered. So for that, Blake, you must be commended. We will be “patient” with your “process”. While we purchase our fifth bottle of organic ketchup.
Read more: Blake Lively: "I felt like I fooled them"
- 2 Harry Potter fans can apply to the Hogwarts-inspired College of Wizardry
- 3 Jessica Chambers: 19-year-old woman 'doused with lighter fluid and burned alive' in the US
- 4 Russell Brand calls Nigel Farage 'poundshop Enoch Powell' in BBC Question Time debate
- 5 Orange Wednesdays are no more
Weather bomb in pictures: Storms cuts power for tens of thousands – and snow is on the way
Jessica Chambers: 19-year-old woman 'doused with lighter fluid and burned alive' in the US
Russell Brand calls Nigel Farage 'poundshop Enoch Powell' in BBC Question Time debate
Russell Brand was rendered speechless on Question Time by this man
Fury at Airbus after it hints the super-jumbo may be mothballed
Disgruntled RBS worker writes hilarious open letter to Russell Brand after anti-capitalist publicity stunt leaves him hungry
Shock poll shows voters believe Ukip is to the left of the Tories
Nigel Farage's approval rating hits 'record low' as popularity suffers in wake of Ukip sex scandal
Nigel Farage defends Kerry Smith 'ch***y' comment: 'If you are going for a Chinese, what do you say you’re going for?'
Ukip candidate jokes about 'shooting peasants' in racist and homophobic rant
Pakistan school attack live: Taliban kill at least 132 children in 'horrifying' massacre
£25000 - £30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: They are in need of a HR Manage...
£35000 - £40000 per annum + £65,000 OTE: h2 Recruit Ltd: London, Birmingham, M...