Diary: Who'll protect the little ones from Claire Perry's potty mouth?
The Tory MP Claire Perry has been the driving force behind a campaign against online pornography. "As a mother with three children I know how difficult it is to keep children from seeing inappropriate material on the internet," she once told the Commons.
Yet this is the same MP who had to apologise to the Speaker John Bercow because when she was frustrated about not being called to speak in a debate, she wondered aloud whether she needed to give him a blow job.
And as a loyal Government supporter, she was so angered on another occasion by the remarks of the anti-EU Tory Douglas Carswell she suggested he should "f**k off and join UKIP".
And this weekend Perry had to be told to mind her language while being interviewed about the banking crisis on Radio 5 Live's breakfast show. She described the culture inside the banks as one of "big swinging dicks".
Parents everywhere will soon be wondering how to protect their little ones from the graphic sexual imagery of Ms Perry.
Cameron steals Osborne's best lines
It must have been galling for George Osborne to have to wait until almost five o'clock yesterday afternoon before he could begin his report to the Commons on the banking scandal, and even more annoying that his Downing Street neighbour had stolen his best lines.
David Cameron, who went first on the grounds of seniority, was supposedly reporting on last week's EU summit, but tacked a bit on to the end of his prepared statement, in which he trailed the main points of what Osborne was going to say later. With a large contingent of Eurosceptic MPs behind him, dissatisfied with his vague promise of a referendum on Britain's EU membership, the Prime Minister needed a diversion, even if it threatened to knock his colleague off the top of the news bulletins.
Serving the people: nice work if you can get
Last month, the Lincolnshire Echo highlighted the case of Sara Cliff, a Tory councillor who had pocketed £23,000 for attending 19 county council meetings, more than £1,200 a meeting. It sounds generous, but actually it is quite modest compared with the contribution of Stephen Padmore, a Labour councillor from New Cross, in south-east London, who has turned up to two meetings in the past 12 months, for which he received £9,812 in allowances. That is nearly £5,000 a meeting. "Councillor Padmore's pay per meeting rivals that of most city bankers," a fellow councillor told the local free sheet, News Shopper.
Second best in the Olympic salmon stakes
Lance Forman, former President of the Cambridge Union, former special adviser to Peter Lilley, when he was a Cabinet minister in John Major's government, and fourth generation salmon smoker, is not best mates with his fellow Tory, Sebastian Coe, and other luminaries of the 2012 Olympics.
The family business, Forman's Fish Island, which has supplied the nation with smoked salmon for generations, was until recently located where the running track in the Olympic stadium now is.
After a long battle which caused Lord Coe some heartache, the business moved to a new factory, 100m away, and was able to advertise itself as the "perfect" venue for parties or conferences because of its views of the stadium. Mr Forman is busy renting 30 temporary suites to companies for a princely £75,000.
Alas, a new pavilion has sprung up. It is run by Prestige Ticketing, official providers of Olympic hospitality, who are offering three- course meals and tickets to the 100m for £4,500, and it is slap bang in the middle of Forman's much advertised vista.
To add insult to injury, at the official opening, smoked salmon canapés were passed round as the Prestige boss, Alan Gilpin, explained: "We're really passionate about food. We want to showcase British produce, locally sourced, artisan made, often by several generations of the same family." The salmon, surely then, must be from Forman's over the road, he was asked.
"Erm, no, it's not actually."
David Cameron stung by jellyfish: PM hurt after ignoring advice of locals while on holiday
South Korea ferry: Vice principal rescued from sinking ship found hanged
Oscar Pistorius trial: The case against Oscar Pistorius – and why the prosecution claims his story doesn't add up
Peaches Geldof funeral: Private ceremony to be held at same place as her mother Paula Yates on Easter Monday
Shropshire criminals ‘using unmanned drones and infrared cameras to find illegal cannabis farms’ – and then steal from the growers
The food poverty scandal that shames Britain: Nearly 1m people rely on handouts to eat – and benefit reforms may be to blame
US Navy christens huge $3 billion destroyer ship USS Zumwalt that appears as a fishing boat on enemy radar
Scottish independence: It is the English who should be on their knees, begging the Scots to vote ‘No’
Nigel Farage fatigue? Half of voters ‘immune’ to Ukip’s appeal
Nigel Farage on Have I Got News For You: Ukip leader ridiculed over expenses and party 'fruitcakes'
Nigel Farage: I’m taking on the status quo, and the Establishment’s fighting back
- 1 Are you turning into your dad? The top ten signs you've embraced dad-ism revealed as survey says 38 is age men turn into their father
- 2 Overheard in Waitrose: documenting the chatter in 'Britain's poshest supermarket'
- 3 Video of British Muslims dancing to Pharrell Williams's hit Happy attacked as 'sinful'
- 4 24 people applied for the 'world's toughest job', here are their interviews
- 5 Grace Dent on TV: Game of Thrones has jumped the shark
£35000 - £50000 per annum + benefits+bonus+package: Harrington Starr: SharePoi...
£80000 - £95000 per annum: Charter Selection: A leading Global organisation Ja...