Sienna Miller says that her off-set activities very nearly “sabotaged” her burgeoning Hollywood career.
The actress said that she was “naïve” as to how showbusiness worked when she arrived on the scene in her early twenties leading her into bad “situations”.
“I was really naive, I think. I was a young 21,” she tells Esquire magazine. “Not green as grass – I was by no means an innocent – but I had faith in the goodness of everyone. I was very open. And that led me into all sorts of situations that backfired.”
A very public relationship with Jude Law saw Miller become a favourite of tabloid magazines and gossip columns. But Miller didn’t realise how this could affect her professional life, saying she was lucky to have a “second chance”.
“It had become difficult for me to get the work I wanted, if I’m really honest,” she adds. “It was a weird situation to be in because there was a lot of goodwill for me in Hollywood. I think I’d been lucky in that I’d always been naughty in that town and people had always liked me for it. [But] I sabotaged things. I burnt a lot of bridges. I never read a review or paid any mind to what anyone said. And that translated to how I behaved outside work. Onset, I was first to arrive, last to leave, best friends with the crew, totally professional, no dicking around. But when I wasn’t at work, I wasn’t behaving the way you should. I’m very lucky to have a second chance in that town.”
That came after making the decision to “deliberately disappear” from Hollywood and the glare of the media.
“I felt like I had no control over any aspect of my life, professionally or personally,” she says. “So I deliberately disappeared. I was sick of myself, to be honest, or sick of that perception of me. It all felt so f**king dirty.”
Miller’s previous existence as a favourite of gossip columns has been thrust back into the spotlight both at the Leveson Inquiry and at the trials of journalists accused of phone hacking. Indeed yesterday in court her ex-boyfriend Law was cross-examined over claims that while they were going out, she had had an affair with his friend Daniel Craig.
The process of Lord Leveson’s investigation, says Miller, made her want to vent “in a fury”.
“It’s so personal, it’s such a raw nerve, it had such a massive effect on me, on my life and career, that I don’t know what would come out of it except I will kind of vent, in a fury,” she says. “Believe me, there is a torrent of abuse I would love to hurl at half of their faces. But there are more eloquent people. I don’t trust myself. I’m too volatile.”
The actress, who now has a baby with fellow actor and fiancé Tom Sturridge, is back acting now and she is due to appear in Business Trip opposite Dave Franco and Vince Vaughan and with Channing Tatum and Steve Carrell in Foxcatcher later this year, still yearns for the approval her job provides.
“I do think that ultimately you have to be chronically insecure to enter my profession,” she says. “I think it comes from a need for approval. The applause feels good, I don’t care who says it doesn’t.”
Read the full interview in the Esquire March issue - on sale Thursday 30 January.
Find out who has been well behaved enough in Hollywood to find themselves nominated for an Academy Award this year in the gallery below:
Oscars 2014: Best Actor and Actress nominees
Oscars 2014: Best Actor and Actress nominees
1/20 Cate Blanchett (Best Actress)
Blanchett has been nominated for Best Actress for her role as a deeply troubled New York socialite in Blue Jasmine.
2/20 Sandra Bullock (Best Actress)
Bullock is nominated for her performance as a medical engineer in Alfonso Cuaron's space adventure Gravity.
3/20 Meryl Streep (Best Actress)
Here pictured left with Julianne Nicholson and Juliette Lewis, Streep has earned a nod for her performance as Violet Weston in August: Osage County.
4/20 Judi Dench (Best Actress)
British actress Dench is up for Best Actress for her role as Philomena Lee in Stephen Frears' Philomena.
5/20 Amy Adams (Best Actress)
Adams is nominated for Best Actress for her role as Sydney Prosser in American Hustle - here pictured left with Bradley Cooper, Jeremy Renner, Christian Bale and Jennifer Lawrence.
Francois Duhamel/ Annapurna Productions
6/20 Leonardo DiCaprio (Best Actor)
DiCaprio has picked up his fourth Oscar nomination - but will he finally win? - for his performance as debauched stockbroker Jordan Belfort in The Wolf of Wall Street.
7/20 Chiwetel Ejiofor (Best Actor)
British actor Ejiofor has been nominated for an Oscar for his role as Solomon Northup in 12 Years a Slave.
8/20 Matthew McConaughey (Best Actor)
McConaughey is up for Best Actor Oscar for his role as an emaciated AIDS patient who smuggles anti-viral drugs into the US in Dallas Buyers Club.
9/20 Christian Bale (Best Actor)
British actor Bale has earned a nod for his performance as con artist Irving Rosenfeld in American Hustle.
10/20 Bruce Dern (Best Actor)
Dern, left, is nominated for his role in Nebraska as elderly father Woody Grant who embarks on a trip with his estranged son.
11/20 Bradley Cooper (Best Supporting Actor)
Cooper, left, has earned an Oscar nod for his supporting role as a wild FBI agent in David O Russell's American Hustle.
12/20 Barkhad Abdi (Best Supporting Actor)
Abdi is up for Best Supporting Actor for his performance as a Somali pirate who hijacks Tom Hanks' ship in Captain Phillips.
13/20 Michael Fassbender (Best Supporting Actor)
Michael Fassbender, left, is nominated for his role as plantation owner Edwin Epps in Steve McQueen's 12 Years a Slave.
14/20 Jared Leto (Best Supporting Actor)
Leto has picked up a Best Supporting Actor nomination for his role as a transgender AIDS patient in Dallas Buyers Club.
15/20 Jonah Hill (Best Supporting Actor)
Hill has earned a nod for his supporting role as a charismatic salesman in The Wolf of Wall Street - pictured here, left, in a scene with Best Actor nominee DiCaprio.
16/20 Julia Roberts (Best Supporting Actress)
Julia Roberts, here seen embracing Best Actress nominee Meryl Streep, is nominated for her role in August: Osage County.
17/20 Jennifer Lawrence (Best Supporting Actress)
Lawrence has been nominated for her role as Rosalyn Rosenfeld in American Hustle - she won Best Actress for Silver Linings Playbook last year.
18/20 Lupita Nyong'o (Best Supporting Actress)
Kenyan actress Nyong'o has earned a nod for her role as Patsey in 12 Years a Slave, here pictured with Best Supporting Actor nominee Michael Fassbender.
19/20 Sally Hawkins (Best Supporting Actress)
Sally Hawkins, left, and Andrew Dice Clay in a scene from the Woody Allen film, Blue Jasmine. British actor Hawkins is nominated for her role as Jasmine's sister Ginger.
20/20 June Squibb (Best Supporting Actress)
Squibb is nominated for her role as Kate Grant, wife of Best Actor nominee Bruce Dern's character in Alexander Payne's Nebraska.