Pandora: Dave's home affairs?

While Gordon Brown ensured events in Westminster took a fresh twist yesterday, David Cameron's domestic arrangements were also the subject of some timely title-tattle among senior Tory colleagues.

In between betting on just how long it would have taken Alastair Campbell to put Adam "you're a big man, but you're out of shape" Boulton on the canvas in the event of the pair coming to blows, MPs were privately putting it about that Dave and Sam were planning to "up sticks" from their current abode in the Tory leader's Oxfordshire constituency. "You didn't hear it from me, of course," helpfully whispered one well-connected party stalwart.

With the country's fate hanging in the balance, Pandora sensed this could be the perfect moment to seek clarification from Conservative HQ. Well, how wrong I was on that score!

After making contact with one party lackey, I couldn't escape the suspicion these people felt they had bigger fish to fry yesterday afternoon. "Let me check," she sighed, adding with almost indecent haste: "Not to our knowledge."

Holmes on Andrews's case

Gere's a welcome poke in the eye for those naysayers criticising Julie Andrews's musical comeback. Despite the old girl receiving an ungenerous response in some quarters, the portly charmer Eamonn Holmes wants her birthplace of Walton-on-Thames in Surrey to honour her with a statue. I'm assured Holmes has pledged to publicly don his own Von Trapp-style lederhosen should the council meet his demands.

* Clearly sensitive to the controversy that met her brave decision to leave Swindon for nearby Reading, national treasure Melinda Messenger is keen to strike a conciliatory note. Berkshire's own English Rose now says she is not completely ruling out an emotional return to her home town at some time in the future. More on this when we have it.

* Channel 4's property temptress Kirstie Allsopp said recently that she was "so surprised and saddened" by the abuse apparently greeting her on Twitter.

Is this the very same Kirstie Allsopp who, in the early hours of Friday, wrote with undisguised glee: "Lemsip Optrex has lost his seat, oh dear!" I'm sure you'll agree such cold hypocrisy speaks for itself.

One Lord fears liberal conspiracy

Just before news broke that the Liberal Democrats were entering into talks with Labour, Pandora's very own constitutional expert was picking holes in the potential pact with the Tories. Step forward Lord Biro (don't look for him in Debrett's) who pointed out: "If Mrs Thatcher dies and Cameron wants a state funeral and Clegg doesn't, what would happen?" Feel free to forget you read it here first.

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs People

Recruitment Genius: Management Trainer

£30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Exciting career opportunity to join East...

Recruitment Genius: Senior Scientist / Research Assistant

£18000 - £28000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: An ambitious start-up company b...

Reach Volunteering: Chair of Trustees

VOLUNTARY ONLY - EXPENSES REIMBURSED: Reach Volunteering: Do you love the Engl...

Day In a Page

In a world of Saudi bullying, right-wing Israeli ministers and the twilight of Obama, Iran is looking like a possible policeman of the Gulf

Iran is shifting from pariah to possible future policeman of the Gulf

Robert Fisk on our crisis with Iran
The young are the new poor: A third of young people pushed into poverty

The young are the new poor

Sharp increase in the number of under-25s living in poverty
Greens on the march: ‘We could be on the edge of something very big’

Greens on the march

‘We could be on the edge of something very big’
Revealed: the case against Bill Cosby - through the stories of his accusers

Revealed: the case against Bill Cosby

Through the stories of his accusers
Why are words like 'mongol' and 'mongoloid' still bandied about as insults?

The Meaning of Mongol

Why are the words 'mongol' and 'mongoloid' still bandied about as insults?
Mau Mau uprising: Kenyans still waiting for justice join class action over Britain's role in the emergency

Kenyans still waiting for justice over Mau Mau uprising

Thousands join class action over Britain's role in the emergency
Isis in Iraq: The trauma of the last six months has overwhelmed the remaining Christians in the country

The last Christians in Iraq

After 2,000 years, a community will try anything – including pretending to convert to Islam – to avoid losing everything, says Patrick Cockburn
Black Friday: Helpful discounts for Christmas shoppers, or cynical marketing by desperate retailers?

Helpful discounts for Christmas shoppers, or cynical marketing by desperate retailers?

Britain braced for Black Friday
Bill Cosby's persona goes from America's dad to date-rape drugs

From America's dad to date-rape drugs

Stories of Bill Cosby's alleged sexual assaults may have circulated widely in Hollywood, but they came as a shock to fans, says Rupert Cornwell
Clare Balding: 'Women's sport is kicking off at last'

Clare Balding: 'Women's sport is kicking off at last'

As fans flock to see England women's Wembley debut against Germany, the TV presenter on an exciting 'sea change'
Oh come, all ye multi-faithful: The Christmas jumper is in fashion, but should you wear your religion on your sleeve?

Oh come, all ye multi-faithful

The Christmas jumper is in fashion, but should you wear your religion on your sleeve?
Dr Charles Heatley: The GP off to do battle in the war against Ebola

The GP off to do battle in the war against Ebola

Dr Charles Heatley on joining the NHS volunteers' team bound for Sierra Leone
Flogging vlogging: First video bloggers conquered YouTube. Now they want us to buy their books

Flogging vlogging

First video bloggers conquered YouTube. Now they want us to buy their books
Saturday Night Live vs The Daily Show: US channels wage comedy star wars

Saturday Night Live vs The Daily Show

US channels wage comedy star wars
When is a wine made in Piedmont not a Piemonte wine? When EU rules make Italian vineyards invisible

When is a wine made in Piedmont not a Piemonte wine?

When EU rules make Italian vineyards invisible