Ronnie's got a tale to tell - and he can even remember it

Now Ronnie Wood, his band's somewhat frazzled guitarist, has decided to have his own go at telling the inside story of the Rolling Stones.

In one of the biggest publishing deals in music history, Wood has signed a contract to spill beans on his 30 years with the group.

His literary agent, Eddie Bell - who secured well over a million pounds for the book - tells me it will be "the greatest rock and roll memoir ever written."

"Ronnie actually has the most unbelievable memory," he says. "There will be quite a number of revelations in the book: it's a hell of a story he has to tell. The deal was signed confidentially earlier this year."

The lucky buyer was Macmillan, where editors have seen a sample chapter. The book will cover Wood's whole life, and is expected to dwell on some controversial moments in the band's history - although at the time of Jagger's arrest for drug possession Wood was yet to join the Stones.

I also gather that the book will be co-written with Jeffery Robinson, who is best known for a warts-and-all biography of Brigitte Bardot.

Sweetly, Wood's wife Jo - whose close attention is credited with keeping him in shape - will be publishing a health book with Macmillan, at the same time. The two may be promoted together.

* The wedding of glamour model Jordan to Peter Andre on Saturday was hardly a model of restraint, but there were some records it didn't quite manage to break.

Prior to the big day - which made its key players £1m richer thanks to OK! magazine - the happy couple claimed they would be purchasing the longest bridal train in history.

Unfortunately, their effort to get into the Guinness Book of Records has ended in failure. "We had an approach from Jordan's PR people several months ago," says a compiler of the book.

"They wanted to know what the record was. When we told them, they said that they'd never be able to compete, and after that we didn't hear from them."

"There was no record attempt registered. Anyway, the train that she did wear wouldn't have even come close."

In case you're wondering, the actual record was set in 2002, by Ernst Boekhorst and Jorien Schuit of Holland. They had a 776-metre train.

* The actor Ralf Little was involved in an intriguing propaganda war prior to his West End debut in On the Ceiling last night.

Yesterday morning, sources at the theatre let it be known that Jessica Taylor - a singer with the pop group Liberty X - would be attending in an official capacity as Little's latest girlfriend.

"In May, Ralf said in an interview that he thought she was hot," I was told. "They've now finally got together and she wants to be there for his first night."

Sadly, spokesmen for the band were quick to deny any romance between Little and Taylor - and later announced that her planned theatre visit is now off.

"The band was interested to see the play, but they'll be working late and so aren't going now," he says. "Jessica and Ralf Little aren't an item. He's just on the record saying he fancies her." Shame!

* When the historians of tomorrow take out their quill pens to write the tale of England's Ashes victory, a brief chapter may be dedicated to the contribution made by this very newspaper.

Our correspondent Angus Fraser - who played in a couple of (unsuccessful) series against the Aussies - is claiming partial responsibility for some of the uncharacteristically big innings in the final test.

Last Monday, Fraser invited Andrew Strauss and Aussie opener Justin Langer round for dinner. They ate and drank well, and both went out and scored flamboyant centuries in their next innings.

"I suppose it must have been the wife's cooking," Gus tells me. "Either that, or the rather good wine that came out of my cellar."

* Sebastian Faulks is about to become the latest literary superstar to turn his pen to the lucrative children's book market.

Following in the footsteps of fellow heavyweight Jeanette Winterson - not to mention Madonna and Paul McCartney - Faulks is writing a novel for the likes of his nine-year-old son, Arthur.

"My last book took four years to write but this new one will take about six months," he said, at the launch of his latest novel, Human Traces.

"I'm aiming at the nine-to 14-year-old age group, like my son. I'm not sure what it's going to be about though yet - I'll decide as I go along, which is something you can do with children's books."

Fortunately, he adds: "This isn't the end of me writing for adults."