How We Met: Ruthie Henshall & Stephen Mear

'She was crying so much that I grabbed her and shoved her face in a sink of cold water'

(EVA VERMANDEL)

Stephen Mear, 46

Mear started out as a performer in West End musicals before moving into choreography in the late 1990s. He has won Olivier Awards for his work on the West End revival of Mary Poppins' and 'Hello Dolly'

We first met when we worked together on Cats in 1987. Ruthie was a bit louder than I was, but we hit it off immediately as we were both very ambitious. We were two of the few people who still went to dance classes every day, and we were always warming up together, and I think we used to drive other people a bit mad.

I remember Ruthie was seeing Prince Edward at the time and the cast all went carol-singing at the Palace, which was fabulous. There were lots of headlines in the newspapers of "the Prince and the Showgirl", but she was so young that she took everything in her stride.

The next show we were in together was the West End production of Crazy for You in the early 1990s. She was the leading lady and I had so much respect for her: on some shows I've worked on, the principals have behaved badly, which trickles down, but she was so professional, no one dared mess about.

We became really close buddies then, and found we had the same quirky sense of humour. We always still laugh about her last matinée performance: she was crying so much beforehand that I thought, "If she doesn't pull it together, her head's going to swell to the size of a football," so I just grabbed her and shoved her face in a sink of cold water.

I've choreographed a couple of Ruthie's one-woman shows and she's one of those people who can do anything she sets her mind to: even if you said to her, "Stand on a high wire, juggle and a sing a song," she'll be determined to get it right.

We used to see more of each other – we'd go out to Soho House, and then, when I lived in Walthamstow, we had some lovely evenings when she came and stayed – but our friendship hasn't changed. A couple of years ago, when I was doing a show at the studios where they film Dancing on Ice when Ruthie was one of the judges, I passed her make-up room, and we screamed when we saw each other. Then, by coincidence, the music from Crazy for You came on, and we did the whole routine in front of everyone. They all thought we were mental, but we remembered every step.

Ruthie Henshall, 43

A singer, dancer and actress, Henshall is best known for her work in musical theatre, including originating the role of murderess Roxie Hart in the West End production of 'Chicago'. As well as chalking up four Olivier nominations and one win, she has released three solo albums and appeared as a judge on two series of reality show 'Dancing on Ice'

I met Stephen when I went into Cats; I was barely out of college, and I was in awe of him as a dancer. He understudied the main character but at one stage he was better than the guy who was doing it, and there was always a buzz when he went on as he was so good. It was when we did our second job together, Crazy for You, that our friendship was really set in stone. It was my break-out show, and with that came both unbelievable highs and lots of pressure. Stephen knew when I was tired and needed an arm around me, and he also has this wonderful way of helping you keep your feet on the ground.

After Crazy for You, I did a one-woman show, and I asked him to choreograph it. Going from working alongside him to being instructed by him was an easy switch for me. There was no pussy-footing, and he pushed me as hard as he could, but I could never imagine having an argument with him, because I think we'd just collapse into laughter.

I can be incredibly real and intimate with Stephen, and we have been there for each other through difficult times. About 13 or 14 years ago when he split up with a partner, who was a friend of mine too, he was heartbroken, and the hardest thing was that he wanted some hope from me. I tried so hard to convince the partner that he was making a mistake, because I so wanted a happy ending for him.

He's very witty, and he's always saying things which make me think, "I must write that one down." During Crazy for You, I think it was him who coined the phrase that when I tap-dance it's like "someone throwing cutlery down a flight of stairs". Without doubt, he's the better dancer: when I was recording an album and wanted some tapping on it, he came into the studio and put down a track, but to this day, I pretend it was me!

He's jet-setting around nowadays and I have two children, so it's more difficult to keep regular contact, but when we do meet, it's like we've never been apart. I've made many fun acquaintances in this business, but there are only a handful who I know will walk with me through the rest of my life – and he's one of them.

Ruthie Henshall is in 'Blithe Spirit' at the Apollo Theatre, London W1 (0844 412 4658), from 2 March to 18 June. Stephen Mear's 'Shoes' is at Sadler's Wells' Peacock Theatre, London WC2 (sadlerswells.com), to 3 April