I'm appearing in a well-known cookery show so I was up late last night practising. The idea is to make a dish with ingredients you've never seen before. I'm no master chef but I try my best. It's so stressful, though! I then go and record a TV show called What the Dickens?. It's supposed to be a literary artsy quiz but the only area of the arts I know anything about is comedy.
Have to work in an exclusive kitchen in the West End with two other contestants for the cookery show. I really appreciate what it's like to work in a kitchen now and I will never ever do so again. Go to the studio afterwards to make the two-course meal we were asked to prepare for the judges. I can't tell you if I go through to the next round or not. I'll leave that to your imagination. I go home and get very drunk with a friend and my other half. You can see this as consolation or celebration.
I'm up at 10 and go to a rehearsal at the New Wimbledon Theatre. Tonight is a stand-up comedy night in aid of the Prince's Trust to celebrate Prince Charles's birthday. I live five minutes from the theatre and I've never seen Wimbledon closed off with so much security and police. All the locals are angry and complaining: it's hilarious. I get a fantastic motorbike taxi over to the Richard and Judy show, where I'm the resident comic. Alastair Campbell is a guest on the show and tells me I'm funny. I then go back to the theatre to do the show. It is so nerve-racking. The host, John Cleese, is amazing. When I go out on stage I walk past Joan Rivers and Robin Williams who are standing in the wings going "Knock 'em dead son", which makes me even more nervous. The royal party laughs at all the jokes, which is a relief. The biggest applause of the night goes to Andrew Sachs, who makes a surprise appearance. There's a standing ovation at the end of the night, including the royals, and we have lots of drinks afterwards. It is such a joyous evening and the best goody bag I've ever received.
I have press all day, lots of phone interviews as I'm in the middle of a tour. I'm going to all sorts of interesting places. I say interesting but I was in Basildon last week. I then go to the BBC for a costume fitting for Stewart Lee's new series that I'm doing.
I get up and go through some details for my trip to Prague on Sunday. I then sort some stuff out for a comedy night I'm hosting in December. It's a competition for people whose companies have cancelled their Christmas party because of the credit crunch and get to come to this instead. I do a sold-out show in Cambridge tonight. I was invited to a dinner party at a friend's house where the lovely Annie Lennox will be. I'm so tempted to go but I can't let down my people in Cambridge. Annie will have to wait.