The 5-minute Interview: Julie Burchill, Columnist and author

With opinions that stretch from the communist to the Thatcherite, the controversial columnist Julie Burchill has written for a wide range of publications for 20 years. She has also written several best-selling books, including 2004's 'Sugar Rush' – the tale of two teenage girls involved in a lesbian affair. The sequel, 'Sweet', is out now

If I weren't talkingto you right now I'd be...

Keeping a hot date with Dr Frasier Crane.

A phrase I use far too often...

I'll have yours.

I wish people would take more notice of...

Heroic people who are warning us all that Islam is the new fascism, such as Ayaan Hirsi Ali.

The most surprising thing to happen to me was...

Becoming a voluntary worker with adults who have learning disabilities. I wish I'd done it sooner.

A common misperception of me is...

That I don't really mean it.

I'm good at...

Making people feel good – until I lose interest in them.

I'm very bad at...

Responsibility, loyalty and constancy.

I am not a politician but...

I could lick Gordon Brown any day.

The ideal night out is...

At my place, drunk.

In weak moments I...

Pick my feet.

You know me as a journalist but in truer life I'd have been...

A smuggler of bibles into Muslim countries.

The best age to be is...

Too young to know better, too old to care.

In a nutshell, my philosophy is this...

For every bit of money you spend on pleasure-giving substances, give the same amount to charity. That way you'll never get the guilts.

Alice-Azania Jarvis