Russell Brand on David Moyes sacking: ‘Sir Alex Ferguson's selection of the ‘chosen one’ looks like what I would do if invited to select my ex's next partner’

The comedian says that Ferguson’s appointment of Moyes was all part of a cunning plan

Russell Brand, a long-term football fan, says that sacked Manchester United manager David Moyes never stood a chance.

The comedian, who never misses an opportunity to voice his own opinion, believes that it was part of Sir Alex Ferguson’s grand plan to hire a successor who was not as skilled as he.

“Sir Alex Ferguson's selection of the ‘chosen one’ now looks less like John the Baptist heralding Christ and more like what I would do if invited to select my ex's next partner; the mendacious dispatch of a castrated chump to grimly jiggle with futile pumps upon Man United's bone-dry, trophy-bare mound,” he wrote in a column for the Guardian. “It appears though that Ferguson's personal mythology superseded his tribal ties and he nominated not an heir who could carry on his legacy, but one who would stumble and stoop and in so doing add greater emphasis to his own already staggering achievements.”

Moyes held the title of manager for just 10 months and was dismissed yesterday following a challenging season for the club. Ryan Giggs has been put in charge temporarily, yet Brand drily wonders why Ferguson had not hired the footballer in a managerial role before.

 

“Giggs, whose untapped managerial prowess evaded Ferguson when he was asked to nominate a successor, the nearest approximation of an Anfield boot-room appointment considered instead to be the translucent Moyes, a pale imitation of himself, so pale in fact his impotent palpitations could be witnessed on a vascular level as United throbbed to a final flaccid loss at Goodison Park,” said Brand.

The television personality and author believes that, although Moyes’s tenure was never fated to last, his replacement is in a far more “favourable position”.

“In all likelihood Ferguson's immediate successor could never be more than a peppery sorbet to cleanse the palate after decades of glorious indulgence,” Brand continued. “Any son of a great man knows a margin is required, some respite from the preceding magnificence.”

Brand is himself a West Ham supporter.

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