Sir David Attenborough's alternative (and hilarious) curling commentary

Listen to the legend as he explains the 'frantic and often futile' rituals of sliding curlers

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The Independent Online

Legendary broadcaster Sir David Attenborough has lent his much-loved style of nature commentary to the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics, after BBC Radio 1 host Greg James managed to persuade him to re-voice the women's curling championships.

The 87-year-old's introduction to the sport is typically dramatic. "In all my years of exploration", he says, "these are the creatures I find most curious" - referring to the members of Team USA and Team GB. 

“For the first time ever, filmed over the course of three afternoons in deepest Russia, using the world's most state of the art cameras,"

Sir David explains the object behind curling as: "The aim of this ritual is to land your walnut in the centre of the nest" - the "walnut" being the curling stone, of course. 

He instructs the viewer to watch as the “alpha female” (the skip) “displays her dominance over the herd” (Team GB) “by tapping the end of the frisking broom to check for insects".

He describes the ice as “the frozen river” which the “walnut” travels down while the “herd” gently frisk the foreground.

“This is nature at its most vulnerable”, he declares.

"The frisking is frantic and often futile, making no difference to the success of the net thrust, but it is playful and what makes this game the sliding curlers play so magical," he explains excitedly.

The net thrust, Sir David adds, is undertaken by curlers to mark their territory.

“Look how happy it makes them.”